trigger warning. sexual harassment.
As you can assume from the title.
Since October, brave women have been telling their sexual harassment stories with the hashtag #MeToo. I thought I would finally share my own. This post is only limited to three stories, but there are more. More than I can care to have.
These are just three of the countless.
ONE
JULY 2016
A notification popped up. "Instagram: [someone] wants to send you a message." Almost instinctively, I tapped it as one does. On my screen was a grammatically incorrect wall of text and a picture of a Malay man's genitals. Short, stiff and gross.
"It's urs if u want it :P"
He said he masturbates to my Instagram. He wanted me to send pictures. He thought I wanted to. I told him he was repulsive. I blocked him and I went to bed.
I woke up the morning with a new notification. Different account, same person. He apologised, it was never his intention to degrade me. He asked me out for coffee, I declined.
He called me a 'stuck-up slut.'
I told him it was an oxymoron, and blocked him again.
TWO
DECEMBER 2016
Alone, wrapped in a plain brown hijab with headphones on, clutching heavy shopping bags. A Middle Eastern man, mid-to-late twenties, walked towards me. He held his arms out, gestured to my body. He licked his lips and asked if I was looking for a husband.
"Mashallah Habibi, you are too beautiful to be lonely."
"Talk to me, baby."
"I can make you so happy."
He followed me until I ran into a Marks & Spencers. I waited by the racks until he disappeared into the crowd. I didn't leave until thirty minutes later, when my heartbeat slowed down and my eyes weren't so red.
I took a cab back home that evening.
THREE
MAY 2017
I was talking to a male friend outside a busy pub.
I wore leggings and a red dress past my knees, he wore a blue t-shirt and jeans. We chatted about the end of first year when a man came over to us, looking for a lighter for his cigarette. We told him we didn't smoke. He offered to buy us champagne. We told him we didn't drink. He asked for our names. I lied, and said 'Harry.'
"Why do you have a man's name?" He asked in a thick Eastern European accent.
I joked, "Because I have balls."
The stranger leaned down and lifted my skirt. His eyes looking up. I swatted his hand, and pushed my skirt down. He then whispered in my ear, "You're too pretty to have balls."
I wanted to say something. "And you're too much of dick to get laid."
I wanted to slap him. Painful enough to leave a red welt.
I wanted to scream. Instead, my friend and I stood in awkward silence. The stranger walked away, still looking for a light.
"What the hell was that?" My friend finally spoke up. I sighed, crossing my legs. I pressed my arms against my chest, and wished I wore trousers.
"It happens."
Sexual harassment happens. Regardless of what is worn, regardless of time and place, regardless of company or lack of.
They weren't factors as to why I was harassed.
I was harassed because there are men in this world who think women are lesser than them. As if we crave their attention or demand their validation. There is a power struggle in them, that could be satisfied by demeaning women. In their eyes, we wanted it. We wanted them.
Whether we knew it or not.
Do you have any stories of sexual harassment?
with love,
A Law Q&A from actual law students.
As Term 1 winds down, my friend and I sat down to answer some questions I received from Instagram. This is my third Q&A up on my channel. This time around, there is a good reason. It can be considered educational since it is a Law School Q&A.
Enjoy!
A big thanks to my friend Sam Boughton for joining me in this Q&A. He's seen me break down in the library, I've seen him knock a bottle before an exam. It's a great friendship based on mutual hatred of law school.
You can follow him on Instagram here.
Would you like more Q&A like these?
I have a Trusts lecture in half an hour (if I decide to go). My laptop is at 27% percent and phone even less. My friends sit across me, watching another episode of Rick & Morty while our other friend takes a nap. I'm pretending I don't have any more work and knowing I have plenty.
The blogger tab sits there, as I attempt to write something with meaning and moral. I fail. So I write this instead.
A sort of hello again.
The blogger tab sits there, as I attempt to write something with meaning and moral. I fail. So I write this instead.
A sort of hello again.
I've written a few posts like this, in the past, when I take unexpected breaks. I usually blame law school and my ineptitude to balance every single aspect of life. I still do.
Blogging became an outlet when I had little to do and much to say. That was three years ago. Now, I have much to do and little to say. Trying to maintain a social life, assignments, scripts among other things. Those stressful nights on a friend's couch with red eyes and hot tea, or the bruises that never fade. Just the overwhelming sense of dread.
When it's too much to handle, I crawl elsewhere to a safe place. What was once writing on laptop in my bedroom is now somewhere with open arms and a warm smile.
"You'll be fine. I know you will be." My friend whispers as I lay in their bed. Huddled under the covers, the rain heavy. "You've got a pretty cool life, pretty cool blog, and you're pretty and cool yourself."
I laugh, "Barely, always barely."
When they said it, it's somehow enough. Barely is good enough.
Blogging became an outlet when I had little to do and much to say. That was three years ago. Now, I have much to do and little to say. Trying to maintain a social life, assignments, scripts among other things. Those stressful nights on a friend's couch with red eyes and hot tea, or the bruises that never fade. Just the overwhelming sense of dread.
When it's too much to handle, I crawl elsewhere to a safe place. What was once writing on laptop in my bedroom is now somewhere with open arms and a warm smile.
"You'll be fine. I know you will be." My friend whispers as I lay in their bed. Huddled under the covers, the rain heavy. "You've got a pretty cool life, pretty cool blog, and you're pretty and cool yourself."
I laugh, "Barely, always barely."
When they said it, it's somehow enough. Barely is good enough.
Life outside of cyberspace is good.
I write more, I exercise often and I have a semblance of a proper diet. My friends are goofy but kind, school is stressful but decent, and I'm happier. I'ml more human than I've felt in months. Even if it's just barely, it's still something.
It's still feeling.
Right now, I want to know I can feel again.
Though I won't be as consistent as I was in Summer, this is me trying. In a bad attempt to balance regular blogging into an already-full schedule. After all, I have an assignment worth 40% of a module due in two weeks.
Who knows how I will feel in the coming weeks. Speaking of feelings...
Who knows how I will feel in the coming weeks. Speaking of feelings...
how are you?
with love,
RATING: 2 OUT OF 5
It seems like everyone has an opinion on this palette.
It's shocking how much backlash Anastasia Beverly Hills have gotten since the palette's release. Beauty bloggers and makeup artists have put out varying opinions. Some good, most bad. Curious, I borrowed my cousin's to see if it was truly as bad as everyone says it is.
So is it?
FUDGE | Fudge is strange. The warm, deep brown is a beautiful colour and its velvet formula feels beautiful, it blends out horribly.
NEW WAVE | A light-medium orange with yellow undertones. New Wave, and other similar nude-ish colours, seem to be the best in the palette. It blends among the other shades, and applies without much work.
UNTAMED | I didn't like Untamed. The medium blue-green shade was difficult to blend and applied patchy. I didn't like the end result on my eye.
EDGE | What was supposed to be a medium yellow shade oxidised on my lids. Yes, this colour oxidises. How? When applied onto my eye, Edge darkened into a sour yellow. It retains its opaque matte finish, blending out well but still. How?
ROWDY | Rowdy is a deep burgundy, and arguably the darkest shade in the palette. It doesn't blend out well, staying where applied, but lasts for about 6 hours before getting patchy.
on the lids: Dawn, New Wave, Edge
liner: Fudge, Adorn
under eye: All Star, Roxy
on the lids: Destiny, Untamed, Electric
under eye: Rowdy
There has never been a more controversial palette than Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture Palette.
It's shocking how much backlash Anastasia Beverly Hills have gotten since the palette's release. Beauty bloggers and makeup artists have put out varying opinions. Some good, most bad. Curious, I borrowed my cousin's to see if it was truly as bad as everyone says it is.
So is it?
Perhaps in looks, but not in quality.
As expected it looks high-end in its packaging. The Subculture Palette's retains the same velvet casing, this time in dark blue, with a magnetic closure. I've addressed the problem when I reviewed the Modern Renaissance palette, the case won't stay pretty for long. Powders stick to velour.
Though the cheapest retailer in Brunei sold it for BND $72, Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture Palette costs BND $57.50 (US$42) for these 14 shades. An estimate price of BND $5.40 (US$3) per shadow weighing 0.7g (0.02 Oz) each. So it is the same price as Modern Renaissance, for slightly more product.
As expected it looks high-end in its packaging. The Subculture Palette's retains the same velvet casing, this time in dark blue, with a magnetic closure. I've addressed the problem when I reviewed the Modern Renaissance palette, the case won't stay pretty for long. Powders stick to velour.
Though the cheapest retailer in Brunei sold it for BND $72, Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture Palette costs BND $57.50 (US$42) for these 14 shades. An estimate price of BND $5.40 (US$3) per shadow weighing 0.7g (0.02 Oz) each. So it is the same price as Modern Renaissance, for slightly more product.
TOP ROW SWATCHES
CUBE | DAWN | DESTINY | ADORN | ALL STAR | MERCURY | AXIS
CUBE | DAWN | DESTINY | ADORN | ALL STAR | MERCURY | AXIS
applied using finger
CUBE | Cube is a shimmery duochrome, with a pale pink-to-lavender shift. It felt like a cream than a powder, and had the least payoff on the lids. Even if I used my finger, the shift would fade after two hours.
DAWN | A warm peach, Dawn is the closest nude shade in this palette. It works best as a transition shade for light skin tone, and wears the best out of the 14 shades.
DESTINY | What I can describe as a greyish-green. Destiny is a muted olive green that applies patchy against the skin. Best applied with a fluffy brush.
ADORN | Adorn applies like a foiled texture, similar to those in Huda Beauty Rose Gold Palette. A creamy copper brown with a metallic sheen. It's slightly chunky and best applied with fingers.
ALL STAR | Somebody once told me, this shade was not good. All Star is a deep reddish plum matte with a warm undertone. The colour, when applied, ends up patchy on the lids.
MERCURY | Mercury is an odd colour. A neutral brown-grey, not too warm or too cool. It would act as a transition shade for the bolder colours, and for those with darker skin tones.
AXIS | Axis is a dark teal with a cool undertone. While it applied patchy as a swatch, I found it easy to apply with an incredibly light hand. It diffused well with a blending brush.
BOTTOM ROW SWATCHES
ROXY | ELECTRIC | FUDGE | NEW WAVE | UNTAMED | EDGE | ROWDY
ROXY | ELECTRIC | FUDGE | NEW WAVE | UNTAMED | EDGE | ROWDY
applied using finger
ROXY | Roxy is a light peachy-orange with a matte finish. No matter how much I try, the colour does not blend. It ends up looking stagnant and patchy.
ELECTRIC | A pale mint-green duo chrome. Electric is best applied with fingers to build from sheer coverage. Like Cube, it applies like a cream and fades just as quickly.
FUDGE | Fudge is strange. The warm, deep brown is a beautiful colour and its velvet formula feels beautiful, it blends out horribly.
NEW WAVE | A light-medium orange with yellow undertones. New Wave, and other similar nude-ish colours, seem to be the best in the palette. It blends among the other shades, and applies without much work.
UNTAMED | I didn't like Untamed. The medium blue-green shade was difficult to blend and applied patchy. I didn't like the end result on my eye.
EDGE | What was supposed to be a medium yellow shade oxidised on my lids. Yes, this colour oxidises. How? When applied onto my eye, Edge darkened into a sour yellow. It retains its opaque matte finish, blending out well but still. How?
ROWDY | Rowdy is a deep burgundy, and arguably the darkest shade in the palette. It doesn't blend out well, staying where applied, but lasts for about 6 hours before getting patchy.
EYE LOOKS USING ABH SUCULTURE PALETTE
liner: Fudge, Adorn
under eye: All Star, Roxy
The Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture Palette is controversial, to say the least.
It should go without saying, all reviews will have some bias. The makeup reviews are no different. Subconscious or otherwise, good or bad, to a minuscule or large extent. As consumers, we can't listen to only one opinion. Rather, we should listen to many sources, and acknowledge their (unconscious) bias.
Some reviews I found refreshing were RawBeautyKristi, Jordan Hanz, Samantha Ravndahl and Stephanie Nicole. For a further in-depth review, Temptalia is my favourite. Even if I don't agree with their final thoughts, their videos were informative. It is imperative that we remain informed and make our own opinions based on the information.
That said, I have my own opinion. And in my honest opinion, it's not worth it.
under eye: Rowdy
Overall, I love the colours but I dislike the formula.
If the formula was similar to Modern Renaissance, this would have been another hit. Instead, the formula isn't lightly pressed, overtly powder and too strange. I wanted to love this palette, I wanted to create grungy badass looks. Unfortunately, the palette won't let me.
If and when ABH changes the formula, then I would reconsider purchasing the palette. Until then, it's a no from me.
If the formula was similar to Modern Renaissance, this would have been another hit. Instead, the formula isn't lightly pressed, overtly powder and too strange. I wanted to love this palette, I wanted to create grungy badass looks. Unfortunately, the palette won't let me.
If and when ABH changes the formula, then I would reconsider purchasing the palette. Until then, it's a no from me.
So would you purchase Subculture?
What are your thoughts on the controversy?
with love,
London Fashion Week SS18: Day 4 & 5 - PAUL COSTELLOE, JAMIE WEI HUANG, ON|OFF PRESENTS, ARIGATO
Tuesday, 10 October 2017
This post is two weeks late. Oh well.
I blame it on Fresher's Week, Post-Fashion Week Depression, and general laziness.
Still, the obligation to finish writing Day 4 & 5 lingers. Hence why I condensed them to this one blog post. Day 4 was quiet with only a day presentation while Day 5 was my busiest day with three shows.
Here's how they went!
PAUL COSTELLOE
Paul Costelloe SS18 Collection is such a sweet treat.Slender models frolicking around the room, sucking on lollies and drinking lemonade as the audience stared in awe. We interacted with the models, discussing the pieces and taking selfies. Everyone had such a blast with the fun 60's inspired presentation.
Their outfits struck me the most, bright colours reminiscent of sugary candy. The pieces brought inspiration from the past era, with similar crisp cuts and loose skirts. This was emphasised with bold earrings and Twiggy-esque makeup. It's a sunny edition for next season's style.
scarf : Aidijuma | earrings : Lovisa Jewellery
jumpsuit : Aere | shoes : Charles & Keith
bag : Maslea
Perhaps my most comfortable outfit in this season's London Fashion Week. Required as I waddled around Covent Garden in the rain.
For the fourth day, I wore Aere Ginia Jumpsuit in Navy Blue and paired it with Aidijuma Satin-Toned Scarf. The light blues paired well with each other, whilst contrasting the gold ombre and Lovisa Heart Earrings. As a final touch, I finished the look with a Maslea bag, embroidered with traditional Malay design.
JAMIE WEI HUANG
The first show of the last day was Jamie Wei Huang.
Her Spring/Summer 18 Collection was inspired by indigenous Taiwanese tribes. These themes were highlighted in the collection through the designs. Wei Huang gave a creative twist on classic designs, open backs and sharps cuts found in her pieces.
In addition, the colour scheme focused on light pastels. This kept the focus on the structure and stripes, which she used to demonstrate the themes. More than anything else, this collection felt like a 'dream.'
ON | OFF PRESENTS
ON | OFF Presents invited me to their runway, where they showcased three upcoming international designers. Hosted in LFW's 180 Strand, it was exhilarating to say the least. The three designs were unique, eye-catching and just plain awesome.
CAPLANENTWISLE
When CAPLANENTWISLE walked the runway, the first thing I thought was 'diversity.'
Their models were not the standard, and I loved it. People of colour, some with curves, broad noses or wild hair. They strut down the runway, proud of their looks with the bold pieces. It was the best representation of inclusivity from a brand, highlighting the collection.
The collection itself was kept androgynous and non-conformist, with no traditional structure in the designs. Oversized coats and shirts hang on the models. It was truly a collection for the reckless youth.
LUKE ANTHONY ROONEY
Luke Anthony Rooney SS18 Collection was the most elegant and subdued of the three collections. Models in minimal makeup and well-applied paint, matching the creative clothes as they walked the runway.
The stripes reminded me of paint against traditional structure. With the slip dresses and slim fit design, he creates an overall sophisticated but playful look.
JACK IRVING
Oh. My. Golly. Yes.
Jack Irving SS18 Collection is out of this world. These pieces reminded me of deep sea creatures, lurking under the ocean. The metallic green-blue hues makes every single extravagant piece stand out. In addition to its already crazy design.
It feels like I can find these pieces in the new Aquaman movie. And I can't wait to see it.
It feels like I can find these pieces in the new Aquaman movie. And I can't wait to see it.
CURATED CROWD x AXEL ARIGATO
Our last event of the day was a private viewing of brands, created with the help of crowdfunding.
Curated Crowd x Axel Arigato celebrates the power of the crowd in nurturing creative autonomy, social sharing and authentic creativity. Similar to Kickstarter and Patreon, Curated Crowd uses the audience for support, creating the designs.
One of their successful projects were Axel Arigato, a sneaker company which caught my eye. The nude and soft colours look lovely, matching any streetwear look.
One of their successful projects were Axel Arigato, a sneaker company which caught my eye. The nude and soft colours look lovely, matching any streetwear look.
scarf : Verona Collection | earrings : Accessorize | choker : New Look
coat : KAVA | hoodie : KAVA | dress : Zara
leggings : Zara | shoes : Zara
Saving the best outfit for last. Truly my favourite outfit from London Fashion Week, I felt so bad ass.
The whole look focused on making KAVA pieces outstanding. The Kava Cropped Hoodie features images of Brunei's landmarks while the Oversized Coat featured a handprinted design. Suffice to say, it was the little bit of home I needed in London. Representing Brunei in such a cool event.
Underneath, I wore a basic Zara Black Swing Dress and a pair of Zara Pleather Leggings to provide some more texture to the look.
A video will be coming soon. As soon as I finish editing. Until then...
What did you think of London Fashion Week?
with love,
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