After I turned 20, this post was inevitable.
After all, I've done 18 Things to Know Before Turning 18 and 19 Things to Know Before Turning 19. So this post, 20 Things, is the obvious sequel in the series.
Much to my displeasure, I can't call myself a 'teen' anymore. Too old now to be a youth, now a young adult. I grimace at the word. Though I haven't felt like a youth or a young adult for sometime. Rather a decrepit without the maturity, clinging onto remnants of past selves.
Nevertheless, the decrepit still has some wisdom. At least, claimed but rarely true. Here are 20 Things to Know Before Turning 20...
Much to my displeasure, I can't call myself a 'teen' anymore. Too old now to be a youth, now a young adult. I grimace at the word. Though I haven't felt like a youth or a young adult for sometime. Rather a decrepit without the maturity, clinging onto remnants of past selves.
Nevertheless, the decrepit still has some wisdom. At least, claimed but rarely true. Here are 20 Things to Know Before Turning 20...
2 . The temporary company you keep is almost as good as the permanent. Almost.
3 . Happiness is a rarity rarely constant. Appreciate it while it lasts.
4 . Leave the broken things behind, and mend what is left.
5 . You can delay the inevitable, but it is still the inevitable.
6 . What seems right on paper can be so wrong in life.
7 . It is righteous to forgive, but do so in your own time.
8 . You will make friends, even in the most unfriendly situations.
9 . Expect failure and accept it.
10 . Social media isn't worth it. Trust me.
12 . Do things for the sake of doing them. You will only regret some of them.
13 . There are some stories best left as secrets.
14 . Your friends are idiots. You're an idiot. Revel in your idiocy.
15 . Don't be racist, don't be sexist. Don't be hatin'. Call people out when they are.
16 . Some will love you and some will hate you. You don't need to reciprocate those feelings.
17 . You are yours before you are anyone's anything.
18 . Never stop finding fun in the most un-fun of times.
19 . You will be afraid. Feel the fear, and do it anyway.
20 . Life is worth living. Never forget that.
scarf : (similar) | earrings : Lovisa Jewellery
sweater : Poplook | jeans : Superdry
shoes : Summit
Well, there goes another melodramatic post.
It seems imminent I become emotional in August. More emotional than usual, I may add. I was like this when I turned 18, and likewise at 19. The posts around those times are proof. This is no exception. Encapsulating my mindset for the year before and the year to come.
For better or worse.
For better or worse.
What is something you want to know before turning 20?
with love,
So I did it.
I made a video everyday in August, creating 23 videos this month alone. Apart from the one day I missed due to laziness, I managed to fill the weekdays with a video. Exhausting, exciting and fulfilling. I will never do this again.
Instead of telling why you should(n't) do VEDA, I wanted to dedicate a post for my favourite vides in the month. Though 23 videos are a lot, 5 stood out.
So here is a recap of my favourite videos I made in August!
Instead of telling why you should(n't) do VEDA, I wanted to dedicate a post for my favourite vides in the month. Though 23 videos are a lot, 5 stood out.
So here is a recap of my favourite videos I made in August!
I wrote a blog post for this video a few weeks ago. This was my first Spoken Word video in over a year, and second overall.
This spoken word was originally meant to be a blog post, similar to So This Isn't Love and Hate to See Your Heart Break. After some months of writing and editing, I decided it was better as a spoken word. Kaleidoscope's HUMAN exhibit seemed like a good time to perform it.
I've been listening to 'Wake Me' by Bleachers for over three months.
The song was stuck in my head. The soft crescendo, and wild beats keep me company during those late nights. Since planning my videos for VEDA, I decided to film a mini-music video for the song. I roped in Faiz AR to help film it.
The video came out wonderfully, thanks mainly to his great editing skills and patience for my constant nagging. Go check it out!
I managed to film and upload for VEDA while I was on holiday. Surprising to say the least.
Much to my cousins' dismay, I filmed the trip. I took snippets from the day with my iPhone. Capturing little stories and walks throughout the week. I would compile them into a folder in my laptop, and proceeded to edit the Travel With Me later that night.
An effective way to edit, one I never mastered for the rest of these videos.
It wouldn't be me unless I post an obligatory emotionally-driven post on my birthday.
While I usually write a blog post like when I turned 19 and another at 18, since I was filming VEDA, I decided to make a video instead. Perhaps I shouldn't.This may be one of my most personal videos, touching upon growing up and losing yourself in the process. Or maybe not.
Enjoy my mental breakdown.
CARPOOL KARAOKE WITH THE CAST OF SHREK THE MUSICAL
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The cast of Relentless' Shrek The Musical joined me in the car. More like I joined them with a camera.
Gathering a bunch of musical nerds in a car leads to the most fun I've had in weeks. Singing along to the likes of Ed Sheeran, Michael Jackson and Shrek The Musical! It was also my first video I worked with two camera, and perhaps an unideal road. Regardless, I hope you enjoy and go watch Shrek The Musical at JIS Arts Center on 16th - 17th September.
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So that was my August.
VEDA has taught me a few things. Particularly about balancing work, life and uploading. And to take advantage of cafes' free wifi. Will I do it again? Maybe next year but definitely not in the near future.
VEDA has taught me a few things. Particularly about balancing work, life and uploading. And to take advantage of cafes' free wifi. Will I do it again? Maybe next year but definitely not in the near future.
which video was your favourite?
with love,
It starts slow. Almost too slow.
The memories wash upon the shore. They dig into rocks before tumbling back to the sea. I sit alone by the bay, watching the waves shift in sunlight. It is too hot today. I sweat in this heat but I enjoy the view. Where the sky meets sea, and dance across the line.
I smile.
Today is a beautiful day. Today, perhaps, I can finally let go.
I am not good at letting go.
My bedroom is a prime example.
Ripped posters still plastered on my wall. Broken makeup still hidden in their drawer. Letters still kept in a box. I should throw them away. They take up too much space. Useless junk even a hoarder would find excessive.
Yet here they are. Still plastered, still hidden, still kept. They remind me of better times even as insignificant as they may seem, and were. No matter how much I urge myself to leave them, they still remain etched in memory. I wait for the day I may actually forget them.
And sometimes, on those rare days, I do.
It doesn't happen in an instant. I wish it did. I wish I knew when to let go. Rather, it happened gradually.
A slip of the small things first. Birthdays, car rides, moments I thought I'd remember forever. Instant, time past. My thoughts faded. I became forgetful. Then, after a while, maybe a month or year, the things that were once so necessary in life became a footnote. A mere addition.
One day, the posters will tear and letters will be burnt. As time passes, they will become a remnant of things that once were. And just that. Nothing else, nothing more.
That is when you know, you can finally let go.
shawl : Adlina Anis | top : Alia B.
jeans : Superdry | shoes : Summit
For this post, Ejam and I collaborated for a by-the-beach shoot. I wished I knew that beforehand. Then I wouldn't have worn heels. Rocks and heels do not bode well together. As I've found out in
my go-to Black Summit Heels and Skinny Jeans.
For this shoot, I wore my new Adlina Anis Tri Silky Satin Scarf in Black, and Alia B. Top, I dipped into the cold water. Sweat trickling down my head. I hear clicks from the camera, then adjusted myself. I repeated this process until I stepped back onto shore. My feet covered in sand and sweat trickling down my forehead.
It was all worth it for these shots.
Ejam Masle is a wonderful photographer, making my awkward poses seem graceful. Go check him out!
my go-to Black Summit Heels and Skinny Jeans.
For this shoot, I wore my new Adlina Anis Tri Silky Satin Scarf in Black, and Alia B. Top, I dipped into the cold water. Sweat trickling down my head. I hear clicks from the camera, then adjusted myself. I repeated this process until I stepped back onto shore. My feet covered in sand and sweat trickling down my forehead.
It was all worth it for these shots.
Ejam Masle is a wonderful photographer, making my awkward poses seem graceful. Go check him out!
Whether in secondary or sixth form or university, we need some tips and tricks to get through our studies without dying inside.
At least I did and still do.
Since I'm starting my second this September, I thought I would compile my favourite study tips. Perhaps as a reminder to actually study now. So here are my top ten tips to study effectively!
2 . Listen to music. Any white noise to help your brain focus on the material at hand. I recommend instrumentals rather than any current pop music.
3 . Create a studying agenda or a schedule. Figuring what you will study at a specific time helps your mind focus on the task at hand.
4 . Take breaks often, usually I study for 20 - 30 minute intervals and spend the next 5 - 10 minutes resting, by reading or knitting.
5 . Switch your phone on airplane mode, and laptop without wifi. Let's be honest. We'd get much more work done without internet.
7 . Get enough sleep, which is pretty hard. You'll get more work done when you have slept the full 8 hours, or at least 6-7 hours. If required…
8 . Take naps. I love naps, they are underrated. 20 - 30 minute power naps are perfect boosts during the day to get your mind recharged.s!
9 . Figure out your study plan or how you want to study. Some people use mind maps but I don’t like them. I prefer using Lined paper and writing notes there, with highlighters. It's up to you to find a preferred way of studying.
10 . Reward yourself. After a good study session, I eat chocolate because it does help boost your memory. At least that’s what I tell myself because I find any excuse to eat chocolate.
As a law student, I would like to pretend I use all the tips. In reality, I do the bare minimum to get through. As most of my friends do too. If you need more help, I compiled 13 study tips last year!
Still, I hope this does help you get through classes. O Level, A Level and the new semester is just around the corner after all. Yikes.
What are your favourite study tips?
with love,
"It's just, for the first time..."
There was a long pause before her smiles lights, "I feel...wicked."
There was a long pause before her smiles lights, "I feel...wicked."
For you, and only you, think I am the Wickedest Witch there is. I cast spells on your lovers, break their hearts for youth. Green with envy, and red lips to subdue. I'll spit at your feet, wipe with your short skirt. All your lovers watching me.
If you think I am wicked, then why shouldn't I be?
shawl : Adlina Anis | shirt : Uniqlo | top: Arared
If you follow me on Instagram, then you've seen this top before.Arared's Monica Top in Emerald Green was the most popular item at the FashionValet Pop-Up Sale. My sister picked it up for me, when I was studying abroad. When I saw it, I thought of all the possibilities to dress it up. I grabbed a belt and my Missguided Ribbed Black Skirt, and decided 'yes.'
I put it on and immediately thought, 'I look like a leprechaun.'
For the sake of a better title, I will pretend I look more Wicked Witch of the West than a leprechaun looking for her gold.
with love,
"I am nineteen. You are twenty-one."
It starts like every other story. A boy meets a girl. They are young, careless and free. Just how they should be. Smiles exchanged, and a feeling growing. It wasn't love. No, not yet but it was something. Something they wanted.
It ends the way it shouldn't. A boy meets another girl. A girl becomes bitter. A girl writes a piece. And expresses it through an Open Mic Night a year later.
Whoops.
turban : Adlina Anis | earrings : (similar)
turtleneck shirt : Uniqlo | dress : (similar)
Photos by
I've worked with Kaleidoscope Studio before, all the way in 2015 for Shocktober. When I heard they were hosting an Open Mic night, I was compelled. I registered as a performer, and proceeded to freak out. I shouldn't have done this.
I had written a few pieces but I haven't been onstage for almost two years. It's been a while since I've had an audience that wasn't watching me through a screen. I will admit, my tongue no longer spits out words, rather rusty and stutters often.
That didn't stop me from filming it though.
That didn't stop me from filming it though.
More than anything else, it was a cathartic release. I forgot how much I enjoy being on stage. There is a comfort to speaking in public, unabashed and unafraid. Perhaps you need a bit of bitterness in your heart, and a kinder audience to watch.
Yet when you start speaking, all you can do is enjoy yourself.
I hope you enjoy.
with love,
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