It starts slow. Almost too slow.
The memories wash upon the shore. They dig into rocks before tumbling back to the sea. I sit alone by the bay, watching the waves shift in sunlight. It is too hot today. I sweat in this heat but I enjoy the view. Where the sky meets sea, and dance across the line.
I smile.
Today is a beautiful day. Today, perhaps, I can finally let go.
I am not good at letting go.
My bedroom is a prime example.
Ripped posters still plastered on my wall. Broken makeup still hidden in their drawer. Letters still kept in a box. I should throw them away. They take up too much space. Useless junk even a hoarder would find excessive.
Yet here they are. Still plastered, still hidden, still kept. They remind me of better times even as insignificant as they may seem, and were. No matter how much I urge myself to leave them, they still remain etched in memory. I wait for the day I may actually forget them.
And sometimes, on those rare days, I do.
It doesn't happen in an instant. I wish it did. I wish I knew when to let go. Rather, it happened gradually.
A slip of the small things first. Birthdays, car rides, moments I thought I'd remember forever. Instant, time past. My thoughts faded. I became forgetful. Then, after a while, maybe a month or year, the things that were once so necessary in life became a footnote. A mere addition.
One day, the posters will tear and letters will be burnt. As time passes, they will become a remnant of things that once were. And just that. Nothing else, nothing more.
That is when you know, you can finally let go.
shawl : Adlina Anis | top : Alia B.
jeans : Superdry | shoes : Summit
For this post, Ejam and I collaborated for a by-the-beach shoot. I wished I knew that beforehand. Then I wouldn't have worn heels. Rocks and heels do not bode well together. As I've found out in
my go-to Black Summit Heels and Skinny Jeans.
For this shoot, I wore my new Adlina Anis Tri Silky Satin Scarf in Black, and Alia B. Top, I dipped into the cold water. Sweat trickling down my head. I hear clicks from the camera, then adjusted myself. I repeated this process until I stepped back onto shore. My feet covered in sand and sweat trickling down my forehead.
It was all worth it for these shots.
Ejam Masle is a wonderful photographer, making my awkward poses seem graceful. Go check him out!
my go-to Black Summit Heels and Skinny Jeans.
For this shoot, I wore my new Adlina Anis Tri Silky Satin Scarf in Black, and Alia B. Top, I dipped into the cold water. Sweat trickling down my head. I hear clicks from the camera, then adjusted myself. I repeated this process until I stepped back onto shore. My feet covered in sand and sweat trickling down my forehead.
It was all worth it for these shots.
Ejam Masle is a wonderful photographer, making my awkward poses seem graceful. Go check him out!
Whether in secondary or sixth form or university, we need some tips and tricks to get through our studies without dying inside.
At least I did and still do.
Since I'm starting my second this September, I thought I would compile my favourite study tips. Perhaps as a reminder to actually study now. So here are my top ten tips to study effectively!
2 . Listen to music. Any white noise to help your brain focus on the material at hand. I recommend instrumentals rather than any current pop music.
3 . Create a studying agenda or a schedule. Figuring what you will study at a specific time helps your mind focus on the task at hand.
4 . Take breaks often, usually I study for 20 - 30 minute intervals and spend the next 5 - 10 minutes resting, by reading or knitting.
5 . Switch your phone on airplane mode, and laptop without wifi. Let's be honest. We'd get much more work done without internet.
7 . Get enough sleep, which is pretty hard. You'll get more work done when you have slept the full 8 hours, or at least 6-7 hours. If required…
8 . Take naps. I love naps, they are underrated. 20 - 30 minute power naps are perfect boosts during the day to get your mind recharged.s!
9 . Figure out your study plan or how you want to study. Some people use mind maps but I don’t like them. I prefer using Lined paper and writing notes there, with highlighters. It's up to you to find a preferred way of studying.
10 . Reward yourself. After a good study session, I eat chocolate because it does help boost your memory. At least that’s what I tell myself because I find any excuse to eat chocolate.
As a law student, I would like to pretend I use all the tips. In reality, I do the bare minimum to get through. As most of my friends do too. If you need more help, I compiled 13 study tips last year!
Still, I hope this does help you get through classes. O Level, A Level and the new semester is just around the corner after all. Yikes.
What are your favourite study tips?
with love,
"It's just, for the first time..."
There was a long pause before her smiles lights, "I feel...wicked."
There was a long pause before her smiles lights, "I feel...wicked."
For you, and only you, think I am the Wickedest Witch there is. I cast spells on your lovers, break their hearts for youth. Green with envy, and red lips to subdue. I'll spit at your feet, wipe with your short skirt. All your lovers watching me.
If you think I am wicked, then why shouldn't I be?
shawl : Adlina Anis | shirt : Uniqlo | top: Arared
If you follow me on Instagram, then you've seen this top before.Arared's Monica Top in Emerald Green was the most popular item at the FashionValet Pop-Up Sale. My sister picked it up for me, when I was studying abroad. When I saw it, I thought of all the possibilities to dress it up. I grabbed a belt and my Missguided Ribbed Black Skirt, and decided 'yes.'
I put it on and immediately thought, 'I look like a leprechaun.'
For the sake of a better title, I will pretend I look more Wicked Witch of the West than a leprechaun looking for her gold.
with love,
"I am nineteen. You are twenty-one."
It starts like every other story. A boy meets a girl. They are young, careless and free. Just how they should be. Smiles exchanged, and a feeling growing. It wasn't love. No, not yet but it was something. Something they wanted.
It ends the way it shouldn't. A boy meets another girl. A girl becomes bitter. A girl writes a piece. And expresses it through an Open Mic Night a year later.
Whoops.
turban : Adlina Anis | earrings : (similar)
turtleneck shirt : Uniqlo | dress : (similar)
Photos by
I've worked with Kaleidoscope Studio before, all the way in 2015 for Shocktober. When I heard they were hosting an Open Mic night, I was compelled. I registered as a performer, and proceeded to freak out. I shouldn't have done this.
I had written a few pieces but I haven't been onstage for almost two years. It's been a while since I've had an audience that wasn't watching me through a screen. I will admit, my tongue no longer spits out words, rather rusty and stutters often.
That didn't stop me from filming it though.
That didn't stop me from filming it though.
More than anything else, it was a cathartic release. I forgot how much I enjoy being on stage. There is a comfort to speaking in public, unabashed and unafraid. Perhaps you need a bit of bitterness in your heart, and a kinder audience to watch.
Yet when you start speaking, all you can do is enjoy yourself.
I hope you enjoy.
with love,
"Video Everyday in August."
Easy, right?
I hope so or else, I am definitely overextending myself this month. Because I'm going to try to film a video everyday in August. Easier said than done. Pushing out ideas monthly is hard enough for one person.
So I need your help.
So I need your help.
scarf : Verona Collection | earrings : Phoebe Davey Designs
lipstick : MAC Lipstick in Taupe | shirt : H&M
My favourite creators have done VEDA of sorts, once a year. Because imitation is the best form of flattery, I decided to do it as well. I waited until August, it seemed like the most appropriate time. Summer break, a few events to blog, and perhaps when I feel the most creative.
I will be posting Monday through Friday, every weekday rather than everyday for my own sanity. I will stick blog every Monday and Thursday. VEDA is a way for me to express through videography, and explore other creatives.
Though, I don't think I can do this all by myself.
I will be posting Monday through Friday, every weekday rather than everyday for my own sanity. I will stick blog every Monday and Thursday. VEDA is a way for me to express through videography, and explore other creatives.
Though, I don't think I can do this all by myself.
This is where you come in.
Please leave your video ideas, and questions down below! I will film a video as answer, and hopefully, we can start a conversation. I was so happy to see the response from Monolingual Malay, and want to see more like it.
I'm excited! Are you?
Leave your video ideas & questions down below!
with love,
"Thank you.
Thank you for making me see stars when I only saw the darkness."
Will Darbyshire, This Modern Love.
The book carried me through an emotional process. This Modern Love reminds me that today's form of love is no worse nor better than love of the past. Love is love is love. Regardless of time and place.
This modern love is still love, and it is beautiful.
glasses : SpecSavers | shawl : Adlina Anis
top : TopShop | dress : (thrifted)
boots : (similar)
SHOP THE LOOK HERE
So, what do you think of this modern love?
Thank you for making me see stars when I only saw the darkness."
Will Darbyshire, This Modern Love.
I finished This Modern Love by Will Darbyshire in less than 24 hours.
It is a quick read. A collection of letters around the world, from people at the beginning, middle and end of love. Crushes, romance and heartbreak. A cycle everyone can relate. Some more than others. Love is, perhaps our most primal emotion.
As I stared blankly at the last page, I thought about love in this modern age. My first love, to be specific, and its cycle. The early infatuation when I saw him on stage, the years spent together, and the eventual heartbreak.
Sometimes I have to remind myself. I was in love once.
There was a boy, two years older but acted much younger. Childish but charming. I never thought we would grow old together, but we lasted through college.
I saw his face through my computer screen every Thursday night, laughing into the early hours. He texted me in the morning before school, and I answered back by lunchtime. We sent silly selfies back and forth. With every message received, my heart jumped.
I knew, to my core, this was love.
Modern technology had helped our relationship. When it ended, modern technology hindered our heartache.
I saw his face on Instagram every other week, grimacing as I scrolled past. I wrote passive-aggressive tweets in 140 characters, and he 'liked' them the next day. We messaged in the same group chat, never to each other. With every notification lit in green, my heart dropped.
This love was gone, and modern technology reminded me.
I knew, to my core, this was love.
Modern technology had helped our relationship. When it ended, modern technology hindered our heartache.
I saw his face on Instagram every other week, grimacing as I scrolled past. I wrote passive-aggressive tweets in 140 characters, and he 'liked' them the next day. We messaged in the same group chat, never to each other. With every notification lit in green, my heart dropped.
This love was gone, and modern technology reminded me.
In many ways, this modern age hasn't changed love. Love evolved with us.
We are the paradoxical generation. More cynical about romance but still searching for our soulmates. Assured there will be The One, someone for us, anyone. With technology, it becomes easier to find them, connect with them, and stalk their social media profiles until you know exactly what they had for brunch in June 2013.
We are the paradoxical generation. More cynical about romance but still searching for our soulmates. Assured there will be The One, someone for us, anyone. With technology, it becomes easier to find them, connect with them, and stalk their social media profiles until you know exactly what they had for brunch in June 2013.
Yet the feelings remain the same.
The butterflies in your stomach still flutter.
Your lingering stares still hold passion.
Their 'I love you' still matters.
The book carried me through an emotional process. This Modern Love reminds me that today's form of love is no worse nor better than love of the past. Love is love is love. Regardless of time and place.
This modern love is still love, and it is beautiful.
glasses : SpecSavers | shawl : Adlina Anis
top : TopShop | dress : (thrifted)
boots : (similar)
SHOP THE LOOK HERE
Photos by
This Modern Love is available on Amazon.
Despite the title of this post, I wanted to recreate a 70s inspired outfit.
I wore this Topshop Flared Top during London Fashion Week, pairing it with a thrifted black swing dress. I noticed modest fashion bloggers wearing long sleeves tops over sleeveless dresses. Though hesitant at first, I conceded. Now, I can't stop wearing them.
To finish off, I wore Adlina Anis Chiffon Onesie in Dusty Rose. Though I'm not a fan of pink, the colour brought a sense of romance. One needed when writing about this modern love, both the book and concept.
Despite the title of this post, I wanted to recreate a 70s inspired outfit.
I wore this Topshop Flared Top during London Fashion Week, pairing it with a thrifted black swing dress. I noticed modest fashion bloggers wearing long sleeves tops over sleeveless dresses. Though hesitant at first, I conceded. Now, I can't stop wearing them.
To finish off, I wore Adlina Anis Chiffon Onesie in Dusty Rose. Though I'm not a fan of pink, the colour brought a sense of romance. One needed when writing about this modern love, both the book and concept.
So, what do you think of this modern love?
with love,
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