It took 19 months, a second wave, and the urge to get my fingers typing again. Blogging has always been cathartic, a great way to spill my anxieties into the internet void. Thinking maybe I could write any troubles away, and hoping that it would all be okay in the end.
It's been a process.
I have been blogging on-and-off for six years now. I started when I was sixteen and I just turned twenty-four barely two months ago.
The past six years can only be described as tumultuous as expected. The movies and books I watched as a kid never quite prepared me for what young adulthood would actually be like. I laughed a lot, cried a lot and I grew up. Hopefully for the better. And this little corner of the internet has been with me, through thick and thin.
It's been the corner I have been able to share makeup tips, and fashion inspiration, and complain. Mostly complain if I'm being honest.
Every few months or so, I would read back old blog posts from different eras of my life. My eyes passing through the screen, wondering why I barely recognized myself. I don't look like that anymore. My hair is much longer and dyed brown, I have put on healthy weight and my smiles are real this time. The colours seem more saturated.
I find that good.
It's like an archive of my mental state at that specific moment. I am reminded of nights I would write than study or walks back to my student dorm while I listen to the same Taylor Swift song on repeat. It is the long car rides in silence with people I don't see anymore. It is crying on the bus after a day in London. It is youth captured forever on the internet.
Funny how life passes so fast.
At twenty-four, I know I still got a lot of life to live.
I am not where I thought I would be when I first started Hey Bash. I am much older but still itching to make the silly decisions that sixteen-year-old me would have wanted. Experiencing as much as I can, then a little bit more.
I hope you'll join me.
With love, Bash
instagram: @bashharry | tiktok: @bashharry | twitter: @heybash
With everything burning online, and my emotions were running wild, I decided to be selfish for a while. I switched off my phone and watched reruns on TV. But I couldn't sleep any better though. I cried, thoughts rummaging in my head. So I decided to write this, in hopes of making sense of my feelings through all of this.
Particularly how I accumulated such anger, hubris, and loss.
I have lived in two different worlds. In one that doesn't feel I'm Malay enough for them, and another that feels I'm not western enough. Until now, I'm still trying to find a place that lets me be myself. Though I'm not sure what that is yet.
My words are angry, they are mine. I can post things without thinking too - without intending to hurt but they do. I regret that the most. I can share, and post and call out whatever I feel like. I can get emotional, hollowed-out, and broken down in this fight. But the fact remains; this is not my fight.
If you'd like to donate, @AmaninaS is organizing a collective donation from Brunei to BLM protestors in Oakland/Bay Area. She will help distribute the funds to Peoples Breakfast Oakland, a black grassroots organization serving people in Oakland; bailing out Black folks across Alameda County, and Black Earth Farms, grassroots pan African & pan Indigenous farming collective; delivering free food to black folks affected by Oakland uprisings.
For more information, Pieces Project has a google doc filled with petitions, donations, and helpful content to educate ourselves. You can find it here.
I'm tired, I miss my Tigger, and thank you for reading.
Bash
#BlackLivesMatter.
Making YouTube videos for over four. It's a strange experience, to say the least. I make videos sporadically - not enough to be good yet and few to be ever successful. While most of my content has been beauty-related, I've gradually made fewer. Specifically, fewer makeup tutorials and reviews.
Why?
with love,
PROS:
1. Organized & Structured
I like that it's organized cause it helps me feel like I'm organized. The pages are where they are supposed to be, titled and notated for future reference. To go even further, I color-coded everything so my eyes are trained.Methodological? Maybe.
Helpful? Very.
2. Customizable & Open for Creativity
As someone who isn't as creative as she wants to be, I consider my bullet journal controlled creativity. I get to draw, color in and add doodles wherever I please. Not only that, how the journal will look like is completely up to me. Something I personally dislike about regular planners is how rigid there are.3. One Place For Everything
It's my place for (almost) everything. This bullet journal is for my notes, plans, ideas, and acts as an occasional moody diary. It keeps everything where it is. I don't have to look through multiple notebooks anymore. Thank God.4. Consistent Writing
5. It Is For Me & Only Me
And just how it should be.CONS:
1. Time-Consuming
I spent two hours setting up the first few pages of the journal because I wanted to get it just right. Even though there are no such things. Other than that, I still spend at least 15 minutes a day (sometimes more) updating it for the next few days, or just doodling for fun. Not everyone has time for that.
2. Expensive & Hard to Get
In theory, it's cheap. All you need is a pen and a blank book. But...If you're like me, you like going all out. Once I decided to try bullet journaling, I shipped a Leuchtturm 1917 Dotted Notebook from Amazon UK to my sister then asked her to buy double-ended highlighters to match my paints. This is too much of a hassle for journaling. But that's on me.
3. Not for a Perfectionist (Me Included)
It's going to be messy and you have to accept that. There are ink stains, bad drawings, and notes scattered everywhere. None of my Monthly pages look similar at all. A part of me is screaming inside cause I want to look perfect. The other part knows it will never be.
4. Comparisons to Others
If you've seen #BuJo on Instagram then you will immediately think your journal is crap. I certainly did. I don't have decent handwriting or any artistry skills. Other than tapping on a keyboard, my hands are useless. So seeing all the amazing journals lets you down sometimes.But honestly, it mostly inspires me.
with love,
Since the first week of February, I've been shooting almost every day for RTB's upcoming show. This is my first job as a host and it's so exciting. I meet cool people and chat about their lives. Have I been nervous on camera? Not really, and I thank everyone in the crew for that.
John Ambrose deserves better. There, I said it.
My sister and I watched the 'To All The Boys I've Loved Before' sequel, and here's the thing. It's a typical Teen Romance for this generation. I both like it and don't. A Schrodinger's film. I'll probably never watch it again but I'll definitely watch the next one coming one.
Also, #TeamJohnAmbrose
Yes, yes I am.
It's been a while since I've done commercial work, probably very rusty. But when I got the offer to do the shoot, I jumped in excitement. I also jumped cause I don't drive. My first time driving ever is now in cinemas. Oh well...
You can see the Nissan Commercial here!
I was once anti-ebooks but now, I've grown to really enjoy them. Since picking up my Kindle again, I've 3 e-books including Harleen (2019), a graphic novel - which I highly recommend for Harley Quinn fans. For this upcoming long-haul flight, I'm definitely going to bring it as company.
Bruneians Read hosted a book club and of course, I went.
Its theme was all about the Starry Night, filled with chats about books, ice-breakers, and my sticky Honey Garlic stained fingers. For the first time in a long time, it felt like I could talk about books with people who liked books too, our opinions clashing only occasionally.