Oh sweet Nessarose. She looks up to those beneath her. She wishes to walk but can only crawl. Her dresses so crisp, and eyes so bright. Stuck in her black and white and red world. In love with a man made of tin with no heart to give. Alone and loveless here, that poor little Nessarose.

That Nessarose - she brought the house down.

I bought a new camera recently.

I received my honorarium a few days ago, then spent it all on this gorgeous camera. A Fujifilm X-T10 in Silver that looks like it came from an antique shop. It is a huge investment that my wallet hates. I could spend ages praising it, but that is another post for another time.

After a few days of toggling and tweaking, figuring out the basics, I decided to bring it out and take a few photos around the town. By a few photos, I mean mostly of my outfit.

I don't want to be a time bomb. Tick. Tick. Tock.

I don't want to bottle up frustration, hide anger and let words stab into me, let the shards stay in me then rip them off when everyone else is asleep. The clock pauses. Then it ticks. Tick. Tick. Tock.

It's too much effort to get angry, and be angry, and stay angry. I say to myself. Let the clock continue to tick. Tick. Tick. Tock. Before it self-destructs.

Let it explode. Fits and screams erupt until cries are left hoarse and breathless. Let it burn. Fire cackles that burns numb flesh. Let the rubble disappear. Stand up, and wipe the waterworks, and wash away the ashes. Let it begin again.

I don't want to self-destruct.