Call it soul-searching or a spontaneous adventure.
It was more likely an outburst spurred by frustration.
It could've been any country, any city in fact. My mind wasn't working right, and I was so desperate to do something stupid. The night before, I looked at Oslo and Copenhagen. Anywhere cheap and pretty would have sufficed. Instead, I settled on a romantic round-trip for one to Venice.
A few days later, I took the train to Bristol Airport and sent a quick text to my parents as the plane took off. They weren't happy. Only when I landed in Italy did I realize, 'holy shit, I'm all alone.'
I had nothing to run away from except crippling stress and frustration, and the need to do something with my life - a void that has yet to be filled. Calling my trip a quick getaway or holiday would be more realistic, but my melodramatic self refuses that. I ran away from my problems and that was that.
What had caused me to go to Venice was an amalgamation of problems. Most of them due to my own senseless decisions. I made mistakes, I was wrong and I was alone. Loneliness when you thought you were loved aches. There was a kind of guilt. I was shamed, deserted and in my head, I deserved it.
You can only take so much at once.
I don't condone running away from your problems, but taking a break helps.
God knows we need it sometimes.
What was an impulsive opportunity became one of the best trips of my life. It was cathartic. Venice was beautiful as expected, and I left calmer than I had been for the last few weeks. I walked along the narrow streets, ate amazing Italian cuisine and learned how to take better self-portraits. Most of all, I learn that loneliness isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Sometimes, it can be a wonderful friend.
I don't regret solo traveling at all.
If possible, I recommend solo traveling to everyone. Learning to love your own company is forced upon in a new place. I'm definitely going to do it again, preferably with a better state of mind. Perhaps Paris or Malta once exams are finished.
Until then, I'll just keep dreaming of Venice.
Where are you off to next?
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