JANUARY

• Posted my thoughts on 2016 where I questioned why the year felt so horrible. Long story short, mental illness is still stigmatised but rather than repress, it's better to seek help. Which I did in January, and I am so proud that I did.

FEBRUARY

• Invited to my first London Fashion Week.  I consider it a great (if not terrifying) learning experience, meeting new people and realising I wasn't alone in the madness. It was four days of clothes, shows and more clothes. By the end of it, I was so happy to be back in Exeter. You can watch My Fashion Week Vlog here.

MARCH

• After three years, three dentists and too much paper work, I took off my braces. Finally. Once the dentist pulled the metal cage off, I saw my teeth bare for the first time. And realised how small they were. One insecurity lost, another insecurity gained. 

APRIL

• Visited my friend in Cambridge. He claimed Cambridge was prettier than Exeter, and he was right. It was beautiful and scenic, and made me feel more disappointed I didn't get into University of Cambridge. 

• I watched Jon Bellion perform. It was my first concert, a small arena in Shepherd's Bush. I waited half an hour before he came on stage. He sang my favourite songs. The crowd cheered on, and I screamed my throat away. It was amazing.

MAY

• Watched Harry Potter And The Cursed Child. The security personnel told me I was the happiest fan he ever met. I told him I didn't know I was watching until two weeks before. Meeting the original cast and having them sign my book was truly a dream come true.

JUNE

• I published an article for Accessorize, writing tutorials on How To Tie Your Hijab. It was an incredible opportunity for a small blogger like me. When they approached me, I immediately said yes. How exciting it was to write for them!

• Apart from a bit of heartache but nothing crushing, June was quiet. I came back to Brunei, spent three weeks sleeping in the day and celebrated Eid with my family. It was relaxing and I loved it. 

JULY

• Published Head in His Clouds. I wrote this prose back in May, spending a majority of June perfecting it, and met with photographers to see it come to life. The photos resonated with the post. To this day, It is perhaps my favourite piece I published so far.

AUGUST

• Attempted VEDA and succeeded! Well, 95% but that's still an A. I filmed and uploaded a video every day in August, ranging from Literal Five Minute Makeup to Spoken Word to Carpool Karaoke. Most of the month was spent working in creating daily, I almost forgot I turned 20.

SEPTEMBER

• Went to my second London Fashion Week. I found myself experiencing a full week of LFW, with invitations to, at least, one show a day. It was such a long week that I had to condense each day to three different posts, chronicling Day 1, Day 2 & 3, and Day 4 & 5 respectively.  

OCTOBER

• 
Performed in Exeter for the first time. I took the initiative to join the Creative Writing Society, which in turn, inspired me to perform Head in His Clouds. My friends watched and clapped, they never saw me perform until then. I hope they enjoyed it.

• Did Three Days of Halloween, or alternatively titled Three Days of SFX Makeup which I haven't done in years. I dressed up as a half-ripped face skeleton, then scarred Red Riding Hood then Corpse Bride. Guess which is my favourite. (It’s the one where I painted my whole face blue)


NOVEMBER

• Joined University of Exeter International Forum Market. The BruEx Society was invited to join, selling our local food on campus. I dressed in a traditional Baju Kurung, forgetting it was 2 sizes too small. Regardless, the society raised money and shared a little bit of Brunei to our university.

DECEMBER

• Went to EUFC Christmas Dinner. A lot of my friends are fencers, and somehow, I’ve managed to infiltrate the club much to their displeasure. As such, I went to their Christmas Dinner and had a wonderful time feeling festive with my friends. We danced the night away, with joy stitched across our sleeves.

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1. Sunrise & Sunsets. 

Candy cotton skies, swirling purple and yellow and reddish hues, climbing atop the world. Then drifting off to sleep by dusk.

2. My Family. 

7020 miles away, through an 18 hour flight and 2 transits. They annoy me, they bother me, they irritate me but I miss them regardless.

3. Friends. 

The ones I have now, and those I once had. We fill rooms with our laughter. We sing out of tune in cars. We loved so much and yet it still wasn't enough.

4. The Weather.

Cold wind brushing against skin, turning my cheeks pink. The layers upon layers I wear to brave the air. It's a small reminder I'm no longer in tiny South East Asia. That makes me so happy.

5. Sweets. 

Delicate hot chocolate or sour gummy bears, anything I get my hands on. I love biting into a lolly, and finding a surprise. Candy will always be my favourite sinful treat.

6. Strangers. 

I meet some wonderful people I know I will never meet again. They tell me stories of their grown-up children, or how pretty my dress looks. Those kind smiles I receive outweigh the glares I get.

7. Flowers. 

I will be first to admit my distaste for them as gifts, but the first to mention my favourite are white roses. If we never had flowers, they would have never inspired poetry. What a dull world to live in.

8. Ink. 

My fingers are perpetually ink-stained from bad pens. I don't hate it though. When I notice a blue spot on my finger or a short to do list on my palm, I know I'm writing and that's all I want.

9. White Noise. 

When I forget my headphones, I listen to the silence instead. You hear cars driving by, old women speaking in their native tongue, bells ringing and coffee machines buzzing. The world is full of music.

10. Neon Lights. 

Especially at night. The bright signs of corner stores and cheap food joints excite me more than they should. It reminds me the night is awake, even if I am not.

11. Long Walks. 

I walk more now. Over 10,000 a day almost everyday. Living far from friends will make you move. I often complain as I am late. But I need those quiet walks alone sometimes, it clears my head.

12. Home. 

A home doesn't have to be a house, but it could be.

Where I slip my stockings off, make hot Hibiscus tea, and unwind in an unmade bed. Sometimes, it is another place like a familiar cafe where the cashier knows my order before I speak. Other times, it is a person who shares the same story over and over but I still act surprised at the ending.

Whatever, wherever and whoever home is, I am happy to have a home.

It's those minute things I love, ones I'll forget until they are gone. Though I'm not festive, I like to take this time to acknowledge my luck and privilege many don't have. There are people without homes, sleeping in streets this winter, and we can do little to help.

But we can still help.

Centrepoint is a UK-based charity, aiming to help and sponsor homeless youth. More than 150,000 young people are homeless due to finance, abusive families, mental illness etc. Centrepoint provides housing, health support and life skills during these times.

You can make a one time donation of £18 to fund a safe place, or monthly £5 donation to pay for vital basics. The money will provide young people with a future, which is something we all deserve.

Thank you so much.

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A style some might argue is 'lame,' but I say it's minimalist. I stick to blacks and whites, with the occasional pop of pale colours somewhere. It's an easy way to dress in the morning, especially in university, when I would rather come to seminars in pyjama bottoms and t-shirts.

So when I received these Lady Qomash shawls, I took it as a challenge. I would incorporate these ombre scarves (something I've never worn) into my style.

So how did I do?

LOOK ONE

LOOK TWO