The Great What If?

what if he stayed? what if i left?

As a millennial, I feel it is my duty to be dramatic. Constantly wondering and woefully curious. Posing questions that perhaps should not be answered. Despite knowing fully well I shouldn't, I still nonetheless. And with these questions, always start the same. 

What if? 

OOTD | Small Town Girl

Bash Harry London-Exeter Based Brunei Blogger
"she took the midnight train, going anywhere."

No, she took the Piccadilly Line to SoHo.

She makes her way through the busy London streets. A rugsack over her shoulder and headscarf wrapped quickly. Always with a cup of coffee in one hand, the other pushing her glasses up. Dresses for the wet weather but forgets about the puddles. Heels always soaked by the end of the day. This is the life chosen and the life lived.

The small town girl lives a big city life. Hoping she won't shatter like the big city dreams. 

Why Falling Out of Love is Okay

"i don't seek lovers. i seek muses."
- every pretentious prick ever

More specifically, the pretentious prick in a red scarf. 

Falling in love is a fickle thing. One that I cannot describe so easily. Many young writers have written novels about love, romance and its in-betweens. They express their love of love in ways the brain may be able to seek. These writes know love. I am not one of them. 

Instead, I sit on my bed. Behind my board and books, and just talk about love. And why falling out of love is okay.  


Words in Books I'll Never Write 02

Words in Books I'll Never Write - Bash Harry - Flesh to Feel Bones to Break
i've written so much in the past year
Yet still not enough.

It has almost been a year since the first edition. I featured three passages from a book literally titled 'Words In Books I'll Never Write.' I've switched books since then.

My best friend gifted a cardboard-covered book, with my favourite quote printed in gold. I squealed and told her I loved it. I keep all my slices there, filling it in whenever inspiration strikes. After a year, I decided to write up another post.

Here is another page from words in books i'll never write. 

My London Fashion Week A/W 2017 Experience

My London Fashion Week A/W 2017 Experience - Haute Elan hosts London Modest Fashion Week 2017 at Saatchi Gallery
it has been three weeks since I went to
london fashion week

London itself is a hectic city. London, during Fashion Week, is another kind of hectic. Beautiful people wearing precise makeup, clothes picked meticulously. I could only watch in awe, my heart beating and mouth agape. 

It is exciting to watch the week unfold onscreen. To watch it in real life is exhilarating. The outfits I wore was only a fraction of my week in London. The week was spent going from show to show, all across London. Worried I might forgot about every detail, I did what any sane person would do. 

I filmed it. 

OOTD | Outfits from London Fashion Week 2017

somehow, i managed to get invited to london fashion week.
wow.

Outfit planning stressed me out. Even though it shouldn't. 

I spent weeks meticulously planning my outfit for the four day I attended. Which then proceeded to crash and burn due to unforeseen circumstance. Nevertheless, I found myself lucky with pieces to wear. New clothes hanging on the rack. I squealed as I coordinated each outfit for each day.

So here are my outfits for four days of London Fashion Week.

So This Isn't Love

"i'm all yours."
you smile.

"For tonight?" I ask, just as arms wrapped around my waist.

You nod.

"For tonight." 

I smile, caressing your face nuzzled in my shoulder. I can imagine you differently. I let your face remain the same. Brown hair and flushed skin. Slender and young, a wickedness lighting your eyes. I'll call you beautiful for tonight, as you will call me perfect. Plain lies we tell ourselves, and I almost believe it.

This isn't love, but we can pretend it is.

MOTD | Valentine's Day

 ugh valentine's day

It is hated as much as it is loved. A consumer-driven reminder of society's obsession with trivial pursuits in romance. Hence my frustration when shops sell chocolate hearts, and mild disgust when couples hold hands. So I eat the chocolate alone with my two free hands. 

I never celebrated Valentine's Day. Never cared enough to enjoy myself. However, I take the holiday as an opportunity to use shades I rarely wear. Specifically, pinks. God knows I rarely wear pink.

Here is a Valentine's Day makeup tutorial featuring Anastasia Beverly Hills' Modern Renaissance Palette.

Hate to See Your Heart Break

"There is not a single word in the whole world
That could describe the hurt."

I kept your heart in a glass box.

You gave it so willingly, asking me to keep it safe. You kissed my hands and wished me well. So I left it in the box, tucked away in my drawer. Every night since, I checked to see if it still beats for me. I always smiled at its glow. Tonight was different. Tonight, I removed it from its cage. Tonight, I held your heart in my hand.

This is where we end.

I never wanted this to happen. Staring at the concrete ground, refusing to look at you. My breath slow and tears swelling. I hold everything back, you say nothing. We both realise then where we stand. After a long silence, I finally speak. Three words; barely a whisper. I repeat it again and again, until I cry.

“I’m so sorry.”

How were you to know, we would end like this?

My Family Does My Voiceover

i love them to bits 
but this is ridiculous.

A plethora of 'My [blank] Does My Voiceover' have sprung up online. From boyfriends to dads, neither of which were willing to do this.  Instead, I turn to my siblings when I was back in Brunei. Two girls and an unwilling boy in the living room. I asked them up front.

"Do you want to do my voiceover?"

Each turned to me, eyes wide with mischief. And I immediately regret it. 

So my family did my voiceover.  How did it go?

17 Things to Do in 2017

17 things to do in 2017 by HEY BASH
we survived 2016!

Barely.

But we survived! And that is important reminder as we enter 2017, unsure but scared. Rather than focusing on our fears, justified I might add, I want to be optimistic. Looking forward to the new year with things we should do. Some exciting, some insignificant but all something to do.

So to highlight the importance of doing, here are 17 things to do in 2017. 

MOTD | Soft Eyes, Bold Lip

it's been ages since I've done an MOTD.

Applying a full face, taking photos then proceed to wash it off immediately.

Ever since I received Soulmatte Cosmetics' Matte Lip Kit from Xema Su, I wanted to wear it. For the past few months, I've settled for brown nudes rather than this beautiful bright red. With the intention of starting fresh with a slew of new makeup looks, I decided to film it.

So this is a relatively quick and simple look featuring soft eyes and a bold lip.

5 Personal Goals for 2017

Bash Harry Brunei-born and UK-based Blogger
in theory, this should help me.

After all, every self-help book states setting goals is beneficial. Small goals, big goals. Those easy to achieve, and some harder to accomplish. I enjoy the idea of goals. However, going through with them is a task I’m unwilling to commit. I’ve noticed this since last year. I didn’t achieve any of my personal goals last year.

And that’s fine. It means I can start fresh. 

These are my 5 goals for 2017.


Youtube | New Year, New Me? (but not really)

i doubt it, but i'll give it a shot.

"A New Me."

The new year also brings around the idea of a new identity. The hopeful slogan scrawled across online pages. Magazines telling you to change. Be nicer, get fit, study hard. Become a better person than you are now. I've never quite believed this.

Nevertheless, here I am. As usual; cup of coffee in my hand and glasses hiding my eyes. There's a nervous tick, ball of anxiety as I try to explain. This is a new year, but not necessarily a new me.

It's just me.

Favourite Blog Posts of 2016

one year of blogging gone. 
and how did it go?

It was alright. 

2016 wasn't perfect but it was alright. Apart from a few, long schedule slips and less-than-stellar blog posts. Despite them, I did find a few gems as I scrolled through old posts. Some I forgot I wrote, and others I remember with joy. I thought I would share those gems with you.

In no particular order, here are my favourite blog posts in 2016. 

Five Things in December

oh hi again.

I repeat again and again. And again. Even I wonder if I will actually keep my promise this time. 

My apologies for forgetting to write Five Things for November. However, if I am to be honest, I have forgotten most of November. It passed through like a blur, constantly lying in bed or sitting in class. It wasn't exciting, at least compared to December's constant rush.

So here are my five things in December.