Youtube | Spoken Word : Monsters

Saturday, 23 July 2016

W E L L . . . T H I S   I S   D E P R E S S I N G

Standing in front of a camera. Reciting words I wrote long ago. Holding back emotions to stay hollow. So when I speak, it feels like I speak nothing. So I can feel nothing. And yet I still speak, and feel something. 

Something building when I mention monsters. Fear monsters will find me. Scared monsters will hate me. Terrified monsters will want me.

And yet I still speak for the monsters. Because they need to be heard.

As someone with a public speaking background, I should not be so nervous.

And yet I am.

It occurs when you speak about a topic so close. Instead of writing it. I speak, and my hands shake and I smile faintly. I'm good in front of a crowd, but not a camera. Instead, I'm awkward and flaky and desperate to run. This is why I write in journals than keep video diary.

Consider this as an experiment.

Unsure whether I will continue this kind of video. Inspired by Savannah Brown's great poetry, I thought I would do one as well. A terrible one I might add. But hey, I have done more terrible things.