' I   S H O U L D N ' T   B E   H E R E . '

I whispered to myself, stepping inside Greenhouse by Muir. A glass house flourishing in floral greens. My hand lifting the L'orient skirt, the other clutching my mother's arm. We climbed to the highest floor to the TudungPeople Hi-Tea Party.

"I shouldn't be here." I whispered to myself. But God knows, I wanted to be.

W H Y   D O   Y O U   W E A R   S O   M U C H   M A K E U P ?

A question posed often. 

Usually out of curiosity than malevolence. I answer jokingly with a half-hearted smile and benign laughter. 'People scream when they see me bare-faced,' or 'One thing leads to another and nothing ever stops.'

A person's descent into makeup madness begins slowly. Just a concealer and mascara before exploding into puffs of powdering smoke and smokey eyes. I decided to tell my beginnings through visual-audio form.

Ish.

 W H A T   A   W O N D E R F U L   M O N T H .

Full of wonder that is.

Unlike it's predecessor, wonderful for all the public achievements, May was quiet. Its wonder hidden beneath the little successes and sweet bliss. I rarely did anything social or blog-worthy, so aptly called. Instead of shoots, I slept. Instead of catching colleagues, I met old friends. Instead of taking photos, I stayed in the present. May was not exciting.

Boy, did I love it.

Here are my Five Things...

I F   I   W A S   A   D A Y ,

I   W O U L D   B E   M O N D A Y .

No one enjoys Monday, much preferring Sunday's sweet laughs or Friday's wild temper. Monday begins her slow start with a third coffee. Monday is never a favourite, but that was never her purpose.

A reckless recluse struggling through. Eyes squinting beneath sunglasses from the scorching sun. It heats her morning cup. Tight grip in hand and tumbles through life. Monday wakes up grumpy and sleepy but carries on to move forward. For the rest of your days to feel joy, she will consume the woe.

Monday begins with you and stays with you to remind you. The problems you must stride through and perils you hide from. Monday prepares and helps in her own ways.

You'll leave Monday for better days, but Monday still remains. Always there for you. 

M Y   F I R S T   Q & A
Y I K E S .

I recently hit 600 on bloglovin' and recently 6K on Instagram. As I said in my last Five Things, I will be hosting a Q&A. For these little successes, I make celebration posts. Writing personal tidbits and fun facts about me, no one wants to know.

This is different.

Instead of finding tags, I sought for questions by people on the internet. Directing questions you may want answered by me. Some general like blogging tips or personal like childhood memories. And the most popular question I've been asked.

What's my real name?

I   J U S T   M I G H T   R E G R E T   T H I S

But I'm hoping I won't.

I ran a Twitter poll a few days ago, asking what kind of Youtube video should I film. At any given moment, I would often ask on Twitter for ideas. As my mind is a figurative blank hole, I look to the internet for inspiration. When the poll ended, the results were clear and I sighed in defeat.

For now, I must film My First Q&A. Darn it. 

T H A T   G L O W   T H O U G H

Let's ignore my stunning, totally real blue-green eyes and focus on the matter at hand. What's the secret to glowing skin? Is it Inner Peace? Happiness? Kindness? Nope.

It's highlight. Lots of highlight.

Also known as 'Strobing,' this finish has become rather popular this year. A strong glow for dewy skin. I made a quick step-by-step Strobing Tutorial a year ago. I thought I would revisit the concept and improve on it. This time, focusing on creating a strong strobe with a warmer finish.

So here is my revamped Strobing Tutorial! How to Achieve Glowing, Dewy Skin! 

I   W A S N ' T   A   G R E A T   S TU D E N T .

But I wasn't terrible either.

I remained in the middle. When doing homework, I would present some on time, some three days later and some never at all. In class, I would rally a discussion, sit quietly or sleep. During Personal Study, I would revise, read or go home. In all, I was a decent A Levels student with decent grades and a decent social life.

Now my sister is preparing for her AS Levels, frazzled and nervous for the upcoming exams, I assured her it was going to be fine. So long as she studies. And before I told her, I thought I could write it down here instead.

Here are some helpful tips for studying!

E V E R Y O N E   W A N T S   S T A T E M E N T   S H O E S

D O   I   W E A R   A   L O T   O F   M A K E U P ?

Yes. Yes, I do.

But not as much as you would think. Or perhaps, even more than you think. Depending on how much you believe this illusion of beauty I seem to portray. For those objective OOTDs and Instagram, I enjoy patting powders and sharpening lines. Strong makeup looks incredible in photos.

Reality is a much different story. 

The kind of makeup I wear for daily life differs from what I wear for events. In reality, I wear glasses. I run errands with my mother. I catch up with close confidants, who have watched me burp the alphabets in awe and disgust. These days, I apply makeup quickly.

And on one of these days, I decided to film it.

R A T I N G   :   4    O U T   O F   5
B A B Y ,   I   W A S   B O R N   T H I S   W A Y

Flesh and bone never suited me.

Too frail for the world, too fragile for you. My scarred stomach and bruised thighs are proof. Nimble fingers trail down shaking skin. I shroud myself in fabric. Beneath cloth hide pale wounds from wars long ago. I never asked for these scars.

So why do you?