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A life & style blog written by Bash Harry, a 21 year old perfectionist with little to say but much to do. Let's talk beauty, fashion and intersectional feminism.

contact: bashharry@heybash.com

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OOTD | (don't) want to do

Bruneian Hijabi Beauty Blogger

L I F E   I S   B U I L T   O N   A   S E T   O F   R U L E S.

Of what to do's, and what not to do's. Ingrained in our brains since childhood. Developed until teenagehood. Ignored by adulthood and eventually repeated by elderhood. We are in an endless cycle of rules and regulations. Most of them set by ourselves. 

It's difficult to decide what rules to follow when we don't know what is there to do. So many things to do and not to do. 

So what do you want to do?

Brunei Hijjabi styling minimalist goth wearing black and white
HEY BASH Brunei Style hijjabi styling a black and white outfit
Bash Harry Brunei BloggerBash Harry Brunei Blogger
“Stop asking people...what they 'want to do' and start asking them what they 'don’t want to do'.- Amy Poehler, Yes Please

Thank you, Miss Poehler for the insightful quote.

It's easier to decide what rules to follow based on what you don't want to do. A frank list of anything you want to avoid. You put in dedication to things you want to do, and ignore things you don't want to do. It's easier to know what you want to do when you know what you don't want to do.

Makes sense? Let me give you a list.

I   D O N ' T    W A N T   T O   B E   A   F A S H I O N   B L O G G E R

Friends tell me my sense of style is 'boring' and 'dull.' That is accurate. 

It was only in 2015 I made a conscious decision to actually care about what I wear. Beanies and cardigans suited me fine over the years. I figured out what I didn't like quickly. Bright colours flashing in my eyes never attracted me. Floral patterns used so often disinterest me. Black and stripes fill the white spaces instead. What others call lackluster, I consider clean. 

This doesn't mean I'll stop posting outfits. Not in the slightest. It just means when I do style an outfit, I want to look good the way I feel good. And make shorter outfit posts. Unlike this one.

I   D O N ' T   W A N T   T O   B E   P E R S O N A L

I want to be honest instead.

There is a fine line between having opinions and sharing your life story. Some people enjoy having a personal blog. They express their concerns and talk about issues. Friends and family fill their posts, full of love and warmth. It is admirable but I don't want to do that. It's okay though, H E Y   B A S H was never meant to be a personal blog.

There will always be a part of myself with this blog. What I feel when I write will affect the lexicons I type and emotions I pour. To an extent, everything is personal. To an extent, being personal is being honest. But to what extent does being personal mean relying on strangers to satisfy your life?

I   D O N ' T   W A N T   T O   B E   A N Y O N E   B U T   M Y S E L F

Comparing oneself to others is to compare an apple to vegetables. Apples are not vegetables. It's stupid and silly. Yet I have done it countless times over the course of last year. I compared myself to people I shouldn't have. Who was prettier? Who was smarter? Who was better? Whatever the answer was, still left me disappointed. 

There was an acute awareness of the wrongs I had done. The only reward was a minuscule taste of temporary satisfaction from my own paranoia. It wasn't healthy. I lost my light to become someone's shadow. I want to find the light again.

Bash Harry Brunei BloggerBash Harry Brunei Blogger
Bash Harry Brunei BloggerBash Harry Brunei Blogger
B L O U S E : (similar)   |   C R O P   T O P   :   DIY   |   S H A W L   :   (similar)
J E A N S : Something Borrowed   |   B O O T S : (similar) 

There was a point to this post. Oh yes. What do I want to do? 

No clue. 

Take this post with a grain of salt. It comes from an unreasonable hypocrite. I will probably do fashion posts because they are very fun. I will probably write personal posts because I have those emotional moments. I will probably compare myself to people because it is innate. 

What I can do is be aware of myself. My character is defined by who I am, and what I (don't) want to do.

So what don't you want to do?

59 comments

  1. This is well written Bash! You look stunning as always

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

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  2. I loved the thoughtfulness of your words in this post. Maybe avoiding what we don't want to do is exactly the way forward!
    Rebecca | The Two Twenty Somethings
    Xx

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  3. Really enjoyed reading this post, Bash. Even when you know what you (don't) want to do at a certain point in your life, it is still OK to break the rules we even sometimes set for ourselves and live. Breathe and live in the moment. At least that's what this post speaks to me about :)
    xox Nadia
    http://www.mielandmint.com/

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  4. I feel like I genuinely love your blog more with each post you do! I think it's important to like what you create! Can't wait to read more! :)
    xx Kenzie
    Kenzieblogslife.blogspot.com

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  5. Love this! It's super important to always keep it real and geniune

    www.blossomikebana.com

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  6. One of the things I really like about you is that you keep it real Bash!

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  7. you look amazing, and I love the writing on this post. keeping it real!

    www.prettyinleather.net

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  8. Do what you want and am comfortable to do, that's the way I move forward with life in general. I'm way past the stage of doing what others like or think is right, it's about how I feel and not others. I think your style is great and not boring so bring on OOTD posts, I enjoy it!

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

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  9. You're always very insightful and pushing boundaries most other blogs don't really discuss and I love that, I love that this place is so different and not 'personal' but honest. Even though I disagree that you/ your friends think your outfits as boring... they're 'timeless!'

    Lindsey Elyse | lindseyginge

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  10. That crop top is so cute teamed with this outfit!

    Your blog is definitely one of my favourites, and I love how you right. Plus like Elyse said - your blog is honest. It's refreshing to see, especially since so many other blogs feel so similar to one another.

    Meg | A Little Twist Of…

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  11. I get the vibe of what you're saying. My mom tells me that even if I have no clue what I want to do, knowing what I don't want to do is still a step forward. I've had to consider that a lot in life, but in blogging as well. There are a lot of times where I don't know exactly what I want my blog to be, but I know what I don't want it to be.

    I like that you have a variety of posts, and I like todays OOTD. Also, I don't even want to know what my friends think of my style lol. Probably too much black, with...too much black lol.

    hellozauni.com

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  12. Lovely words, well said. Accepting who we are and being contented on how we are. Love your OOTD comfy and chic!

    Capturing Life Memoirs | bloglovin' | Instagram

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  13. I Love that quote ! It's going straight on my wall ! In fact this post has inspired me to make my own list of things that I do not want to be or do and work from that to find what I genuinely want :) I absolutely loved reading this !

    lots of love, Marianne xxx

    http://myhappybubblexx.blogspot.co.uk/

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  14. It is true that it is easier to find out what you want to do when you answer all of the questions of what you don't want to do.
    Well said.


    aluminah.wordpress.com

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  15. I loved reading this post! And you are so beautiful at your own way, so, never compare yourself to others!
    http://www.silkypearl.com/

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  16. Wonderful make up dear!

    http://beautyfollower.blogspot.gr/

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  17. First of all, amazing outfit and picture now onto the post. It is easier to figure what you dont want to do than what exactly it is you want to do, well most times. When it comes to blogging we all seem to flow with the tide, we jump right in and try to do posts that looks similar to that of our favourite bloggers especially when people respond more to it. But after a while you begin to eliminate things you personally would not do in person and begin to shape your ideas, views etc.

    Simply Uneeke

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  18. Hm, interesting post - I think the issue for me isn't deciding what I want to/don't want to be doing, but rather how to get what I want/how to obtain the means so I don't have to do the things I don't want to do (such as being stuck in a miserable, dead-end job). I see your point, though, although it doesn't really apply to me. I have a very clear vision of what I'd like to achieve, it's making that vision come true that's the tricky part. x x

    Kay
    http://shoesandglitter.com/

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  19. Your posts are so loaded with interesting twists that so resonate with me. I scarcely blink until the end. They're that gripping. Lackluster > clean. I think clean is classy and looks effortless. I love your look. Glad you'll keep doing outfit posts, :))).
    http://fashionablyidu.blogspot.com/

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  20. I really appreciate your honesty in this post. You raise a lot of important points, and being true to yourself is so important. I think something else that's food for thought is to not let other people's standards and those around you to change yours.

    Xoxo
    Chanel
    Je M'appelle Chanel

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  21. Your outfit is awesome AND your eyes are beautiful!
    http://fridaynightstyle.com/

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  22. Well, I like your so called 'dull' fashion sense, haha. I am the same myself. Also, really well written post from you, Bash. I really enjoyed it and it made me thunk what I don't want to do. I don't want to be beauty blogger (I know nothing about it), I don't want to be unhappy and regret my decisions and I really don't want to have a boring average job. Now the question is what I really want and sadly, I don't have an answer to it for now.

    -Leta | The Nerdy Me

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  23. This is an amazing written post thats actually really insightful. I love how direct and honest you can be by saying what you don't want

    BCfactor Blog | BCfactor.blogspot.com

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  25. Your honesty and the way you look here! Gahhh! You're perfect! <3 Always love reading your posts!

    Alex || www.lexidoodledoo.com

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  26. Oh Bash! You girl don't even know how much you speak from the bottom of my heart! And I'm glad that I'm not the only one out there... Some things just need no description right?!!
    I love your attitude and always will! Keep it up and never stop dreaming!

    xoxo Ira
    JOURNAL OF STYLE / BLOGLOVIN

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  27. You are so beautiful! I am absolutely in love with your look! AND those shoes are to die for! xo

    McKenzie | therosynook.com

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  28. love this look casualyetchic.blogspot.com

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  29. beautiful dear!

    xx

    isa

    www.un-likely.com

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  30. You look great and girl you can write! I usually enjoy reading your words and you're ever so insightful.I love how you use your words
    sophieatieno.blogspot.com

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  31. I agree. It is far easier to get an answer with a "What don't you like?" instead of a "What do you like?" As always, I really enjoy reading these types of post from you Bash.

    www.annescribblesanddoodles.blogspot.com

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  32. Ah yes, it's so much easier to figure out what you don't like or want versus what you do. I remember hearing from someone when they ask people what they want to be, they have no idea - but they can list from the top of their heads what they don't want to be. One thing I certainly don't want to be right now is sick... but I still am, hahaha.

    Jokes aside though, I love your outfit! Monochrome definitely isn't boring, in fact I think it's one of the cleanest yet boldest clothing choices. Plus it goes with everything!

    becky ♡ star violet

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  33. I've never been more thrilled about a comment on my blog than when I saw yours - for it allowed me to discover your amazing blog. I love your writing style, I love your ideas, I love the way your words inspire me, and I love the beautiful mind behind them. What I don't want to do? I don't want to miss any of your posts :)

    Love,
    Insomnia /// sketchesofalife.blogspot.hr

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  34. Even if it's easier to know what don't you like it's important to know what do you like:)
    xx
    SASHA

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  35. I don't think your styles boring, and even if people say it is surely only your opinion matters most?

    Loved the post yet again, you have a talent for writing. Every time I read your blog it feels like I'm reading a book :) x x

    millieerosee.blogspot.com/

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  36. I can't believe anyone would call your style dull or boring. It's perfect.
    www.streetmadonna.com

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  37. love your style so much!! xx

    danielpoonvignez.blogspot.hk

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  38. I don;t think your style is boring or dull. I think you're doing great with your blog, just follow your instincts and do whatever yo want to do with it
    x,Abril
    The Color Palette

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  39. Food for thought! When you posed me with this question I have to admit I was having difficulty even contemplating what I didn't want. All my brain drifts to is what I want and I guess it goes to show just how much I focus on. It's scary and probably why I've found it increasingly difficult to say no to people.

    Sxx
    www.daringcoco.com

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  40. I loved your outfit and your post. Comparing oneself to others can be a dangerous game, unless the purpose is learning. x

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  41. Wow, you look absolutely stunning, your makeup is beautiful! Never compare yourself to others, no good ever comes of it.
    xo
    Siffat
    http://icingandglitter.com

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  42. Great post! love your outfit, you looks really cool :)
    Would you like to follow each other? let me know :) i love your blog!

    Sonya Thaniya
    read my new post here :
    http://sonya-thaniya.blogspot.co.id/2016/01/white-on-white-and-touch-of-pink.html

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  43. You look very beautiful. I like your Blog !

    Liebe Grüße :)
    http://www.measlychocolate.de

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  44. I love what you wrote. Being true to yourself is more important than anything!
    You're so gorgeous btw! :)
    ➳ Jessica
    rusticbones.com

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  45. Hey meine Liebe!

    Sehr toller Look, steht dir wirklich super gut:)

    Ich wünsche Dir noch einen schönen und entspannten Sonntag,

    XXX,

    WMBG//Instagram//Lookbook//Facebook//Kleiderkreisel

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  46. You definitely don't have a boring style. Your style is clean and similar to mine! I love how you put the crop top over the blouse, I would never have thought to do that. Post what makes you happy, you'll find the rest of us will love it regardless! :)
    Becky; http://www.rebeccamarie.co.uk xxx

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  47. Yes, this is an amazing quote, thank you so much for sharing! I definitely will keep this in my mind and ask as soon as possible people what they don't want to do :) But your style is flawless and this outfit post is another proof for it - your friends are obviously not really into fashion and style!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
    www.dressedwithsoul.com

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  48. I love the photo location and what you are wearing looks amazing, as long as you have your style and you have your confidence then no one will take that away from you!! You are such a vision my dear. I love the list you've written of what you don't want. You always write your posts like I poet, I like that about you!
    www.fashionstylemogul.com

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  49. It's always great to just be open and honest, as you do. Blogging can be what you want it to be, if personal then it certainly can be. You look lovely, and I think it's good to know what you "don't want." I have found a long time ago, that with age I could care less about satisfying others. You must be you: be comfortable and confident. /Madison
    Event Styling

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  50. Great top, love the stripes!

    God bless,

    XO, Claire

    Http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.com

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  51. I love your fashion post. Personally I don't think you need the bells and whistles to be fashionable.

    Angie x | Chocolate & Lipstick || UK Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

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  52. I'm so glad that you commented on my blog, because your writing style is brilliant. I too only really started to put a bit of effort into my clothes last year and although my style isn't anything extraordinary, I do enjoy the mornings when I put in a bit more effort and feel good about myself!
    Iqra | The Blushing Giraffe

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  53. Have you ever thought about professional modelling, because OMG girl, you are so photogenic and pretty!!! Loving your outfit :)


    Pop over to my blog!

    Sarah
    sarahinks.co.uk

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  54. So in love with your blog! You've got such a fresh style and it really is a pleasure to read it!
    Would you like to follow each other on GFC? If yes just let me know once done and I'll be right back!
    xoxo
    Patricia http://patriciacori.blogspot.ch

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  55. You look like a doll.

    http://poiseinwings.blogspot.com/

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