I don't want to be a time bomb. Tick. Tick. Tock.
I don't want to bottle up frustration, hide anger and let words stab into me, let the shards stay in me then rip them off when everyone else is asleep. The clock pauses. Then it ticks. Tick. Tick. Tock.
It's too much effort to get angry, and be angry, and stay angry. I say to myself. Let the clock continue to tick. Tick. Tick. Tock. Before it self-destructs.
Let it explode. Fits and screams erupt until cries are left hoarse and breathless. Let it burn. Fire cackles that burns numb flesh. Let the rubble disappear. Stand up, and wipe the waterworks, and wash away the ashes. Let it begin again.
I don't want to self-destruct.
I don't write as much creative work as I wish to. When I do, it's for this little blog, and it's not artistic. It's not imaginative. It's not personal.
That isn't to say, I'm disappointed in my blog right now, because I am exceptionally proud. I've grown a lot since last year, when I knew nothing about everything and had no one to help me. I still feel like I am getting better, and that I will continue to do so.
Still, I was disappointed in myself for neglecting creative writing to focus on other projects. After slamming my head against table repeatedly, my friend held me up. Then suggested I should try assimilating creative writing into the blog. So long as it stopped me from whining.
"Great idea!" I said hopefully. Then proceeded to type frantically as any hormonal teenager with a too much emotional unavailability and no proper outlet would. Perhaps I'll make it a occurring theme, or perhaps just a one-shot thing. Let's see how it goes...
Scarf : (similar) | Shirt : Uniqlo | Jeans : Hurleyx | Jacket : H&M |
Necklace : Claire's | Shoes : Summit | Bag : Longchamp
On Friday, my group of friends celebrated my best friend's eighteenth birthday. We broke fast at a cute little restaurant in the other side of town. Far enough from my literal comfort zone (home), that I got lost until my friend sent me directions.
A couple of us decided, 'Let's match and wear leather!'
We each had a faux leather piece we loved so dearly. I coordinated accordingly. A basic outfit with pieces I've already featured. I don't need a walk-in-closet full of bright colours I'll only wear once.
That is why I'm currently giving away clothes I don't wear anymore to charity and finding some basic pieces I can restyle. In spite of my exploration with fashion to express myself, I'm a minimalist at heart. Give me a t-shirt, and jeans and a cardigan, and I am the happiest girl in the world.
Though the birthday girl, style-obsessed with honesty I respect, did look at me and smiled. She nodded and said, "Wow, you actually look good today. I'm impressed."
Gosh, I love her.
So what do you think? Should I keep this theme/format going?