F O R T H E B O L D A N D B A L L S Y B A D A S S
I am none of those things.
I can say it with complete and utter confidence. The most badass thing about me is my literal bad ass. So bad it hurts, figuratively. I am not bold, not ballsy and definitely not a badass. Haus of Jimmy R* makes me want to be though.
Based in Brunei but with a world class eye, Haus of Jimmy R provides amazing designs for all. Handcrafted statement jewellery galore, Haus of Jimmy R's pieces almost speak with their own personalities. Ones that cater to their badasses and the wannabes like me.
They told us to wear all black. Who was I to deny this righteous request?
Black is such a happy colour. A phrase used often amongst us, shadow lovers. I enjoy black, and wear it as often as I can. Furthermore, I try to wear this bowler hat as much as I can. Afterall, it makes me feel like a cool cat. Or Black Cat.
Hence the title of this post.
I've got that red lip, classic wing that you like.
I shroud myself in time. A mask of the everlasting facade. Lips painted with deep flames, and eyes lined with starless skies. Take heed of my whispers, that breath blows in the cold. Sweet love that fades so quickly, so dearly with one moan it goes away. I remain, and I reside. When they all become nothing, I am your everything.
Oh, it'll never go out of style.
I’m a hot mess.
Mascara runs down swollen cheeks, crimson lipstick stained on cracked lips and skin thirsting for rain. I change into shirts too tight to suffocate, or heels too high to snap. Teeth grit when I see the smudged eyeliner surrounding my red eyes without a drink in sight. I inhale fleeting bliss and exhale pain. But cigarette smoke won’t end the sorrow in my bones.
Baby, I’m a hot mess. Kiss me quick before I fade.
Prepare for some extremely uncomfortable close-up shots of my face.
Instead of studying hard last month, I went online shopping. A temporary haven to forget about the exams just two days later. Clicking on 'Add to Cart,' itching to type digits and watching it process. A wash of relief and excitement built up in me. My heart fluttered when they arrived, but my wallet cried when it say the price tag. I won't be doing much shopping anytime soon.
Oh well.
Hi.
I've missed you. Did you miss me?
I did not expect the break to last a month, and what a month it has been. A lot has happened in just one month span. Exams are over yet stress is still high, life still tiring and still too busy. I am unsure if I can consider these past three weeks as a break, when half the time I thought of what post to do next month, or what photos to take. In layman’s terms, I miss blogging, I miss doing things.
Blogging gave me structure and achievable tasks when I desperately needed them. While they were people who made it difficult, I am happy where I am now. I don't know if I can update you in just one post but I'll try.
So here is my November!
Another update? Really?
Yes, really. I know I just had one to announce 'Fright Night' but October is over now. This is November. The penultimate month. Also Exam month. Also crazy month. Also be right back, because I need to wash these ink stains off my fingers.
Also be right back, because I'm taking a blog break.
Also be right back, because I'm taking a blog break.
Hey Bash is taking a much needed break.
I feel like drowning. Not in the most melancholic and melodramatic sense. I feel like I'm drowning in studies. In a sea of papers and essays and pens. Papers due, essays to write and pens that run out of ink in just a week. I have written so much, I think I developed carpal tunnel.
October was not filled with gore or blood or horror. Unfortunately, October was filled with the worst thing in life. Exams. My insides are curling inward.
So how did that go?
Zombae looking for Zomboy.
Single, sweet and eighteen years undead. Doesn't have a heart but would be happy to eat yours. Likes O Negative cocktails and spleen slushies. Enjoys Romero comedies but hates The Walking Dead. Searching for a fellow zombie to cuddle in blood and watch Warm Bodies with. Must love a girl with brains.
Kind of mandatory when there's not much else.
A symbiotic parasite.
Victims succumb. Latching on to flesh, crimson channels creeping upon your skin. Bacteria controlling you. Absorbing you. Devouring you. Patient and quiet as the disease then the visceral silences. What terror it brings. The infection runs rampant from its corpse.
It leaves Visceral Carnage in its wake.
I made a quick announcement earlier this month. Hidden and quick since it mainly focused on Fright Night. In that post, I said I would further elaborate on it later. To talk about the most taboo topic for bloggers. The dreaded, the terror, the horror. More frightening than all of the SFX looks found on the internet.
Someone's running away with fingers in their ears.
One thematic tie to all the looks. Blood, and lots of it.
Whether you're a beginner or advanced, easy looks like these are always a hoot to do. I did three quick SFX looks this week. Rips, shots, and slashes using gelatine, scar wax and liquid latex each. Three products you'll find in any special effects arsenal. I decided perhaps to show my favourite, all you can do in under an hour.
So here are three fun and almost effortless SFX looks for you to try!
Every boy's dream. To get shot in the face.
This is my brother, Adam. Barely fifteen, barely through puberty with a barely there moustache to prove it. Since my face is still sore from the Trypophobia SFX makeup, he is my model today. I asked what he’d like me to do and he answered ‘Can you turn me into a Kaiju with really, big awesome teeth and huge horns?’
I said no.
Instead, he’s going to help me teach you how to make a basic bullet wound!
On Wednesdays, we wear pink. Or nude-pink. Whatever looks nice.
Alternative Title: If Wednesday Addams was a Plastic.
It won’t ever happen. Perhaps in some alternate dimension I'd like to pretend. But we all know she would still be a homicidal maniac. She’d eat Regina George alive and skin the Plastics. That is a crossover I’d kill see.
Beauty Bloggers are a dime a dozen. I say this as a beauty blogger.
There are so many videos and bloggers to sift through. A million more videos about winging liner and smoking eyes. Thousands of gorgeous gals armed with brushes and lipsticks loaded. Some useful, but many I find tedious. Same wing, same smoke. Same look, different girl.
The exceptions are exceptional though.
You hunt through YouTube to find such underrated makeup ladies, especially SFX ladies! So I decided to combine my two favourites in the world. SFX and women. Since it's October, and all of us wants to look our best (worst?), I've compiled my favourite SFX artists on YouTube!
These five ladies are my personal favourites, and I hope at least one becomes your favourite too. So, let's go!
Do you have Trypophobia?
A fear of holes. Does it paralyze you? When you see a swarm of jutted holes. Each crater, each dent, each void glaring in front of you. Orifices opened out of it. Pores pouring into you. It desecrates you. It defiles you. It disgusts you. The horde clusters for you. Let it infect you.
So let me ask you again. Do you have Trypophobia?
Besides working as a freelance makeup artist, I'm also an SFX artist. With a speciality for horror and gore. Guts, blood, and bruises. What can I say? I like messes and I especially love bloody messes.
Why am I telling you this? It's October! The Nightmare before Christmas soundtrack blasting through, Hocus Pocus ready to play. This is the only month where I get to finally play. Where perhaps a little blood elicits excitement than fear. Where presenting your lover your heart is more disgusting than usual.
So welcome to Fright Night!
Yes. I am wearing a wedding dress.
Yes. I am getting married.
Yes. I am lying.
September was a busy month. I said the same thing about August. Life becomes busier as months carry on. Dressing myself up, dressing people up but now I'm dressed down. In pyjama pants and an ancient velvet jacket with 'Juicy' scrawled across the back.
I vie days like these, when I can breathe for just five minutes. To sit and type, to just relax. Five minutes alone don't last forever. An hour in class does though. Not complaining, just stating.
But here is how my September went!
I hit 300 followers on Bloglovin!
Well I hope. I fear once this post is up, someone will unfollow me and it will go down to negative million. Then this post will make no sense.
I celebrated my first milestone by listing out Ten Things About Me, and confessing Five Beauty Secrets when I hit 200. I decided this milestone will be a little different. I will list out some random, and completely unnecessary, tidbits from A to Z.
So here are 26 Facts About Me!
I don't wear a lot of accessories. Usually, it's just my wristwatch and perhaps a necklace if I'm feeling fancy. As the year goes on, I found myself looking into more accessories to pair with my clothes. The curse of becoming a fashion victim. Finding excuses to buy pretty products.
Though, I wanted classic and elegant designs. Nothing bold or extravagant, but timeless pieces were hard to find. That's where Eve and Rosie* comes in.
From rings to bracelets to necklaces, they have such a great selection for girls like me. Broke but still finding ways to look cute. Based in Brunei, they were so kind to send some gorgeous pieces to review.
I get annoyed when someone tells me I should wear natural makeup. As if no one should know I'm wearing makeup. That 'Natural' Beauty. Flawless skin, beautiful brows, luscious lips. 'Try to look more natural,' they tell me. Then they show me a picture of Kylie Jenner and I cackle and gag simultaneously.
That said, I do remember when I was just starting out. When I wanted to look natural, with simple, easy steps that wouldn't take eternity to finish. So here is for those who want just a natural look. Whether you're a beginner, or just finding an easy look...
Here is a makeup tutorial!
A few people requested a daily skincare routine. It's been long requested since I started this blog. My normal-dry skin doesn't have any exceptional problems. On most days, it's clear and clean with dark circles and milia that I keep in check.
My mother forced me to follow a skincare regime when I was 12, and I've continued since. I thank her for good genetics and insistence on skincare. She kept my skin clear with three essentials; cleanser, toner, moisturizer. I've expanded my routine since then.
So if you'd like to know what products I use, then keep reading on!
Tell me. Why is it so hard to style shredded boyfriend jeans?
I spent the bulk of last night with piles of shirts on my bed. My mind organizing this beautiful mess, wondering how to look effortlessly decent. Despite endless scrolling through Pinterest, I found nothing. Boyfriend jeans are tricky. The only baggy jeans I have, and ripped as well.
Three hours passed and I gave up. I tossed the shirts on my already messy floor, and fell into deep, dead slumber. Shredded Boyfriend Jeans are a beast I cannot defeat.
Sparks ignite when we collide. Your cobalt eyes pierce through this jilted heart of mine. Let us entwine with coil and wire. Static shocks run through our veins when we set this power ablaze. We conduct jolts, you and I. These jolts to electrocute and execute.
Tell them what we are. We're magnetic, we're voltaic, we're electric.
Raise your hand if you're a lipstick hoarder.
From pinks to browns to black, I am a lipstick hoarder through and through. While I have a plethora of shades at my disposal, I don't have the space in my disposal. My packed lipstick drawer made me realize these lippies needed to shrink if I wanted more.
After much googling and experimenting, I found the best (at least, the easiest) way to do. It's not as hard as it seems. At first.
So here is a step-by-step tutorial on how to depot your lipsticks!
Wrath is a powerful tool for destruction. I'll let you bubble and boil. Under the surface of your skin. In the hot breath of your lips. Over the dense judgement of your mind. I'll let you hold your shrieks and screams. The animosity between you and I, it can't be contained.
I'll be there. When hate builds up and that is all you feel. When you look at pretty faces and their pretty lies. When you see beautiful bigots and their bias. When you feel, I'll be there. I am Anger. The anger in you. I will make you suffer. I will make you scream. I will drive you insane.
I am a powerful tool for destruction.
As a teenage girl who just turned eighteen a little over week ago, I feel like it is time to give some sage advice. Of course, I am qualified. I have the experience and knowledge of eighteen-hood to tell you things you should listen to. After all, I am an adult.
Please recognise the sarcasm in my writing.
I have some time to reflect. Childhood, teenagehood, hoods of life. A few things crossed my mind. Things I wish I knew when I was younger. Before becoming an adult, forced to do this and that. Not working or life hacks you can find with a quick google search. I wish I knew these lessons, have them ingrained in my brain. Lessons I wish I was taught when I was younger.
So I've compiled them. These are some things to know before turning 18.
August has been a busy month.
Exams, birthdays, work. I didn't have enough time to blog, or even go online most days. For the past month, I was a hermit hidden in my bedroom with horrible thoughts of papers due and examinations to review. In layman's terms, I was studying.
Thankfully, exams are over for now. Another two months before my real determines-my-future exams begin. So, let's catch up!
Here's what I've been doing in August!
The tragically beautiful sister of the beautifully tragic girl.
Oh sweet Nessarose. She looks up to those beneath her. She wishes to walk but can only crawl. Her dresses so crisp, and eyes so bright. Stuck in her black and white and red world. In love with a man made of tin with no heart to give. Alone and loveless here, that poor little Nessarose.
That Nessarose - she brought the house down.
"When I grow up. I will be brave enough to fight the creatures. That you have to fight beneath the bed each night to be a grown-up." - When I Grow Up, Matilda The Musical
I wanted to be a grown-up.
To be tall, and smart, and pretty. To reach the books on the highest shelf. To answer all the questions I needed to know. To look in the mirror and see a face I liked. I thought turning eighteen meant becoming the grown-up I wanted to be at eight.
I waited years to turn eighteen. When I turned eight, I counted the decade before I became an adult. When I was thirteen, I thought life would be better in five years. It’s been five years later. A lot of things have changed, but I'm not sure if it's for the better.
Yes, the clock has struck midnight. I'm eighteen years old.
Not that kind of Birthday Suit.
A few weeks ago, My family had a collective birthday party. I mentioned in My Letters to my siblings that we're all born in August. Not only that, my grandmothers and a handful of cousins are born in August. So we celebrated everyone's birthday in just one day! The Sunday before exams to be exact.
Champagnes would be popping but I don't drink nor am I eighteen yet.
Cuff me. I have conformed to society.
My friends will tell you I dislike Zalora. That's not true, I just have a mild disinterest.Their geurilla marketing last year had irked me so I avoided it, having no opinion. However, many of my friends swear by it. Their constant praise intrigued me.
What can I say? I got curious.
Here's something funny. I'm the eldest of four kids, and we're all born in August.
Though my birthday has yet to pass, their birthdays have sailed smoothly. Born within a week of each other. Cakes bought, candles blown, mouths stuffed. I have to wait till' the 25th for my cake, but it's okay. It will correspond with the end of my exams.
Birthdays are important in my family, they have always been important. Growing, changing, and celebrating the years you lived and will live. There are things I'd like to write that I won't say aloud. This is to my favourite nuisances in the world.
So...
Tags. So much fun, and a suprising amount of work.
A few days ago, the ever-amazing Colleen from Coo Coo for Coco tagged me in the Blogger Interview Series Tag. It's been ages since I did a tag post, the Versatile Blogger tag in March. A lot has happened since then, and I thought this tag was a great way to answer some questions about blogging as well.
So let me say hey, and answer some general blogging questions!
This would have been more appropriate to post before Eid Al-Fitr.
I can go on about Eid, the long days under the sun as you travel house to house. By the end of the day, you will look like a panda. Both in face and size. I felt it was my mission to find a way to keep makeup stay longer, or at least, not worst.
So here are five ways to make your makeup last throughout the day!
Remnants of a past, lost in memory. Perhaps that is all you will ever be. A hazy thought, that I will look on longingly but eventually forget. I will forget the secrets behind your facade, the laughter filling your space, the times I called you home.
I might see you again, or what remains of you. My eyes will turn away. A glance is all it takes to realize how much you have changed. I might visit you, nostalgic for all we have seen and all that we have known. It won't be the same though. We will be different, and I will forget you.
All you will be is a remnant of what was once mine.
I've been busy. Very, very busy.
For what can be considered the first time ever, life has taken flight. Eid, school, teenage trifling. Life lately has been confusing, tiring but passing. It's as if I'm living, and I'm not quite sure if I know how to. So blogging became the least of my priorities. For that, I'm sorry.
But if you're still interested to know, here's what I've been doing in July...
I go to a sixth form college. My school, PTEM recently had our annual Hari Raya Aidilfitri event. A celebration for the end of Ramadhan and the only time we get to dress up in clothes other than our crisp white uniforms. In short, it’s the closest we will ever get to an actual prom, sans dancing, partying and all that hullabaloo.
This annual event makes us dress to the nines, in bright colourful outfits. There were so many beautiful ladies and fine-looking gents around the school. These were those that caught my attention, but certainly not all of them.
So here is PTEM's Best Dressed (from a small pool of people)
“What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.” - John Green
I watched Paper Towns yesterday. Having read the novel and enjoying it, I had my expectations exceeded. Though I did not love it, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Albeit for different reasons than most.
Paper Towns is not a cinematic masterpiece. More often than not, it's slow and pretentious. Like every John Green novel ever. It still captures the heart and soul that makes them so popular. Like every John Green novel ever. Paper Towns is not the next Fault In Our Stars. It doesn't try to be.
What Paper Towns is, is a fine, better-than-average, coming-of-age comedy. It also deconstructs the Manic Pixie Dream Girl archetype and explores themes of idealization and identity.
Paper Towns is not a cinematic masterpiece. More often than not, it's slow and pretentious. Like every John Green novel ever. It still captures the heart and soul that makes them so popular. Like every John Green novel ever. Paper Towns is not the next Fault In Our Stars. It doesn't try to be.
What Paper Towns is, is a fine, better-than-average, coming-of-age comedy. It also deconstructs the Manic Pixie Dream Girl archetype and explores themes of idealization and identity.
Happy Eid Al-Fitr everyone!
Or as I would usually say it, Selamat Hari Raya!
A celebration for the end of Ramadhan, where we dress up, visit houses and celebrate. It's such a great time, and many cultures celebrate it differently. In Brunei, we dress up in traditional garb, Baju Kurung but now, it's more like Baju Fesyen. It's unique and culture-bound, that some may be unaware of.
So here are my three outfits for three days of Eid!
Hey, I'm Bash. Let's start over.
I’m seventeen, slightly manic and a little neurotic but in a cute way. Formerly good at lots of things, unsure of many things. I have a tendency to work hard on things that will fail. There are just a lot of things.
For over a year now, I have been blogging on Bash Says Hey. Though I only began producing acceptable work in January. Ever since then, I had been contemplating several things. Should get my own domain? Change to WordPress? Update my theme? An endless list of what to do but never did until now.
So welcome to Hey Bash!
I bought a new camera recently.
I received my honorarium a few days ago, then spent it all on this gorgeous camera. A Fujifilm X-T10 in Silver that looks like it came from an antique shop. It is a huge investment that my wallet hates. I could spend ages praising it, but that is another post for another time.
After a few days of toggling and tweaking, figuring out the basics, I decided to bring it out and take a few photos around the town. By a few photos, I mean mostly of my outfit.
I have a confession to make. Life has been busy lately with work, school and fasting. So I didn’t check my blog until a few days ago. When I checked my analytics, I realised I hit 200 followers on bloglovin! Woo!
I'm dancing my happy dance right now. Which I can assure you, looks like a frigid seal waddling in one position as a fish hops in its flippers. I'm a terribly awkward dancer, that can't even do the Chicken Dance.
So I decided that I should confess a few secrets of mine before we can continue on this blogging journey together.
Here are my five beauty confessions…
There is a certain melancholy to growing up.
The realization you’re maturing, improving and evolving. You’re not the same person you were at fourteen. When problems you have now seemed improbable then. When goals you had then seem so close now. When life now seems almost bizarre.
You can’t help but to look back at our past sometimes, just to look towards our future. You have to think of the future when you're at the cusp of adulthood. When you are no longer the child in the past but an adult with a future. I don’t want to think of the future just yet. There's so much to live for in the present.
After all, I’m only seventeen.
Strobing is a thing now. Apparently.
It's the latest Summer trend. To replace the crowned 'contour' trend of 2014. I don't care for contour on most days, it's just for formal occasions when you want to look way more attractive. Most days, I stick to highlighter.
Imagine my exasperation when all the new sites and all my friends started raving about strobing. A technique used to create a dewy, shiny glow to the skin that looks almost unreal. Which it is. I have thrown a fan brush across the room and screamed 'It's highlighting!' at least once.
So here is an easy tutorial on how to get that ethereal glow to the skin!
I can't believe half the year has already passed. Not because it feels so short, but because it feels so long. It felt like June would never end. I'm a little disappointed that it did.
What May was as big unadulterated bag of burning dog poop, June was the extinguisher that put it out. Overall, it was a good month.
So here is what I've been doing in June!
I don't want to be a time bomb. Tick. Tick. Tock.
I don't want to bottle up frustration, hide anger and let words stab into me, let the shards stay in me then rip them off when everyone else is asleep. The clock pauses. Then it ticks. Tick. Tick. Tock.
It's too much effort to get angry, and be angry, and stay angry. I say to myself. Let the clock continue to tick. Tick. Tick. Tock. Before it self-destructs.
Let it explode. Fits and screams erupt until cries are left hoarse and breathless. Let it burn. Fire cackles that burns numb flesh. Let the rubble disappear. Stand up, and wipe the waterworks, and wash away the ashes. Let it begin again.
I don't want to self-destruct.
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