Head in His Clouds

Thursday, 20 July 2017

He's got his head stuck in the clouds.

He rested his head against the cotton pillow, watching the sky darken. Gazing out into the abyss to find something. Anything to set his heart free. He pointed to a patch of black, no clouds in its way. By the light of his eyes, I saw stars in these polluted skies.

Only he could make the void so beautiful.

I pressed my head against his shoulder, hand on his chest. His breath was steady, so I followed. He knew where he was, where he stayed, where we left. So distant from the world, far away from those on the ground. He cherished his place in the heavens, forgetting the forsaken. 

I asked him to take my hand. He refused to come down. But I never asked him to leave, only to let me follow. He still refused.

That boy's got his head in the clouds. No one was ever going to bring him down. 

He keeps a cigarette tucked between his lips, strikes a match and finally lights up. He absorbs himself in the poison. Inhales toxins, exhales burden. I watch him blow smoke, I see his shoulders relax, and I almost catch him smile. He only smirks, never smiles. 

"I shouldn't have done that," he chuckles to himself. I agree. He still finishes the whole pack.

His thoughts are clouded by sour memories he thinks he's accepted and mistaken metaphors we can't quite comprehend. 'I'm an old soul,' he likes to say. I nod along. He's too young to know and I'm too young to care.

I know enough my place in his world is brief. I care enough to make it last.

"You are so young, so beautiful, and you've got your own world waiting for you." 

He tells me things I already know. Whispers wisdom in the dark under wrinkled sheets. There is a kindness in his voice, slow drawls so tender. Almost as if he makes sense. I say nothing. Instead, I close my eyes and listen to his sermon. 

"I have nothing," he continues, "I like being alone, and I'm fine with that..." His speech wanders. He has so much to say yet no one listens. I try, but in his arms, words suffuse and fade. I drift off to sleep where I feel most free. He floats away, back to his sanctuary in the clouds. 

When I wake up, he is gone.

Wafts of his cologne still fog the air. It leaves me dazed. I cling to the bedsheets, I pretend he's here and perhaps, I think, he'll reappear. Hours pass before I stand. In my misty state, I pull the curtains back. I smile.

There is a clear blue sky; sun shining and no clouds in sight.


glasses : Ebay   |   shawl : ShawlByVSnow
blouse : Missguided  |   shirt : Primark   |   pants : CoveredbyAnnisa

This is a work of fiction.


Head in His Clouds is in collaboration with Time Optic Productions. It was absolutely wonderful to work with them, having such a fun time filming this whole piece. In conjunction with this post, they made video here. Go check it out!

So, have you met a boy in the clouds?

with love,
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MOTD | Punk Yellow & Red Lip

Monday, 17 July 2017

Punk Yellow Eyeshadow & Red Lip Makeup Tutorial by Brunei Blogger Bash Harry
I've been listening to Paramore too much.

I know this because I listened to their latest album while creating this look. Full of pop punk, their great beat and general aesthetic compelled me to put on makeup inspired by Paramore. This is the finished look.

Bold yellow eyeshadow and a red lip. And I love it. 

Punk Yellow Eyeshadow & Red Lip Makeup Tutorial by Brunei Blogger Bash Harry
Punk Yellow Eyeshadow & Red Lip Makeup Tutorial by Brunei Blogger Bash Harry
Punk Yellow Eyeshadow & Red Lip Makeup Tutorial by Brunei Blogger Bash Harry


For the entire look, I used two shades from NYX Ultimate Shadows Palette in Brights. First off, I took NYX Eyeshadow Base as a primer. 

I took the orange-yellow shade and bright yellow shade, the two from the lower right corner of the palette. I used the orange-yellow shade as a transition shade and the yellow shade on the lid. I applied TheBalm's Mary-Lou Manizer as an inner corner highlight. This created dept into a bold look. 

As a final touch, I lined my waterline and applied HudaBeauty False Lashes in Samantha. 

For highlight, I also used The Balm's Mary-Lou Manizer and for blush, I used Nars Blush in Orgasm. For contour, I took out my NYX Highlight & Contour Pan, taking the last two contour shades. For lips, I'm wearing NYX Liquid Suede Cream Lipstick in Kitten Heels.

Punk Yellow Eyeshadow & Red Lip Makeup Tutorial by Brunei Blogger Bash Harry


Now, you can show off your inner cool clown, or alternatively, represent Brunei in a makeup contest. 

I would wear this look out, perhaps not now, but definitely soon. I wish to see bolder looks hitting the streets. Especially since its the Summer time. All thanks to Paramore.

Would you wear this out?

5 Cities to Visit in Europe

Friday, 14 July 2017

I want to travel.

Of course I do, everyone wants to travel. 

I am lucky enough to call Malaysia a second home, and study in United Kingdom for my young adult life. I visited Washington D.C and New York a few years before it was given to a mad man with small hands. I cried when I saw Disneyland fireworks in Tokyo, Japan. 

I can call myself well-traveled yet I still want more. Since I will be abroad for the next few years, I've compiled a few European cities I want to visit. Perhaps as a promise to myself that one day, I will go.

Here are 5 European Cities to Visit!


"When in Rome, do as the romans do," I say as I whip out my sword and shield.

While I wanted to add Milan and Venice to this list, Rome holds a special place over them. Rome is full of rich history and culture in which I want to immerse myself. Walking through The Vatican Museum, visit the iconic Colosseum or wonder at the Pantheon. It would be an amazing trip.


I feel like every blogger has to go to Santorini. As if it is a right of a passage.

Santorini may be one of the most beautiful cities ever, with its beautiful landscape and its even more beautiful architecture. Though I am not a sun or sea kind of girl, I would love to watch a sunset in Oia, have a swim at Vlychada Beach or hike by the Santorini Volcano. Also, aesthetically beautiful pictures, because obviously.


It is, after all, the City of Love. While I doubt I will actually visit the city with a lover, I am certain I will travel with a loved one. My father visited with his best friend, my mother traveled the city with her colleagues. I want to go with someone, anyone.

Watch the sky fall on top of the Eiffel Tower, eat ice-cream by the Arc de Triomphe, find skeletons in the Catacombs. Paris, I will go.


I wanted to visit Amsterdam in February, but London Fashion Week happened and drained me.

A few friends study there, and I intend to meet them, with the promise of visiting every museum. Their museums like Van Gogh Museum and Rijksmuseum holds the finest art pieces. Their canal cruises and cathedrals are also points of interest, on my hopefully-will-go-trip.


George Ezra's Budapest influenced me. I want to go to Budapest so badly.

When I think Budapest, I think of a modern-day royalty. A city of lights, paintings and goofy, poofy dresses. Perhaps it's the architecture; the castles and landmarks. To roam the Buda Castle or St. Stephen Basilica. It's a city with history, and beautiful to boot.

Photos courtesy of Pixabay

There are more cities I want to visit. 

There is a list ever growing in my head. Each city I intend to tick off one day. For now, these are on the top of that list. Time to save my money and start traveling! 

(We'll see...)

So where do you want to travel next?

I'm a Monoligual Malay | Thoughts on Language & Culture

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

I'm either going to be proud or regret this entirely. 
I guess we'll have to see.

I recently got a comment by a girl from the 'Worst Malay Q&A' video. She stated Bruneians 'need to uphold English on a pedestal' and to 'enjoy being monolingual.' While I think she may have misinterpreted the video, the comment itself did raise some questions. At least to me. 

Why did it affect me so much? Was it because its true? Or was it because I heard these statements all my life?

An overwhelming feeling to answer these questions arose. So I did.

"You're so whitewashed."


"White girl."

It's strange to feel alienated by your own culture. I've felt alienated since I was a little girl, and I've accepted it since I was a little girl. A little girl shouldn't accept alienation, a little girl shouldn't be alienated in the first place. 

I do not speak Malay as eloquently as I wish I did. People laugh, and people joke, and I poke fun of myself for it. I see the irony and accept it, and perhaps, some don't. That's fine. What is not fine is excluding us because of the irony. 

Regardless of language, I am still Malay. I was raised Malay, I identify as Malay. I am Malay.


I made a video because it was easier to express it there. 

It's a interesting topic I wish we would discuss more. Our thoughts on cultural identity and its significance to us. For me, cultural identity is knowing where I come from, and who I am. To others, it could be something entirely. Perhaps including language. 

Do you think language is an important part of culture?

Reasons Why I Love Eid

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

It has been a week of Eid and I am exhausted.

I went out for the past week. Dressed up to the nines and makeup slathered on my face. At the start, I put on my best lashes and lined my lips with precious. By the end, I wore glasses to hide the lack of concealer and foundation. So by Sunday night, I was exhausted but relieved.

So I switched on my camera and filmed a video. Here are Reasons Why I Love Eid.

So what are your favourite things about Eid?

OOTD | Outfits from Eid 2017

Thursday, 29 June 2017

Happy Eid Al-Fitri everyone!

The blessed month has arrived to celebrate the end of Ramadan.

I wait for this time to reflect all the changes in life since the last Eid. My cheeks are fuller, braces no longer, and still loving Eid. It is the time of year I look most forward to, if only to dress up nice and show you my outfits.

So here are my outfits from Eid! 

shawl : Radiusite   |   dress : Poplook   |   jewellery : (family heirlooms)
shoes :   Prada

Going simple for the first day of Eid, because I didn't do anything.

This Poplook dress was from its 2016 collection. Originally my sister's but I managed to slip into it for this year. Barely, I might add. I realised how much weight I gained since last year when the dress couldn't lift past mid-thigh.

Radiusite Oxford Shawl added a bolder print to the look, matching the dress' light blue-grey hues.

shawl : dUck Scarves   |   dress : Jovian Mandagie   |   jewellery : (family heirlooms)
shoes : Charles & Keith

I bought this Baju Kurung set the next day I arrived in Brunei. 

Still half-asleep when we drove to Bajoo, in search of new Eid dresses. Since I returned half-way through Ramadan, everyone had bought their clothes and I had leftovers. Searching through the racks, my mother picked up Jovian Izu Baju Kurung in Blue from their LS for Jovian collection.The shantung and heavy crepe fabric wrapped around my figure, and printed skirt fell just above my ankles.  

I fell in love as soon I put it on. Much to my delight, the LS for Jovian Baju Kurung is available on Zalora! (Use ZBAPD013 for 15% off!)

As a contrast to the blue top, I wore dUck Matte Satin Silk Scarf in Sweet Chili. It matched the skirt's pink-reddish hues. My mother made sure the metal tag hung over my shoulder. The little duck sat secure, as if it was proud of its wearer.

shawl : Asha Karim Collection   |   dress : Bajoo   |   jewellery : (family heirlooms)
bag : Moschino

I'm not going to lie. I feel like such a Jackie O in Bajoo's Rania from their Eid collection. The flared tiered sleeves and ostrich plumes add interesting elements to the top. Whilst the long black skirt drapes to the floor like a mermaid's tale. What else can I say? I looked fantastic.

You can tell how much I adore this specific Asha Karim Scarf as I wore it last Eid and during London Fashion Week. The soft teal blue and silver-grey embroidery is perfect. It provides the pop of colour I always seek whenever I wear a black ensemble.

DAY 1:   POPLOOK   &   RADIUSITE   |   DAY 2:   JOVIAN   &   DUCK

Three days spent driving around in a car, meeting friends and family, and dressed in my best. It's fun, it's nice, it's good.

I forget why I love Eid so much until it is Eid. It is for my friends and family, and myself. To take a step back and focus on the loves of life. And clothes. Because obviously. 

What do you like to wear for festive events?

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